Lost - Clexa (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 2

AN: I had intended to write a one-short but the number of follows made me turn it into a multiple chapters story.

LOST – CHAPTER 2

Lexa woke with a start, her chest contracting as her lungs urgently fought her body to take in the oxygen required by her rapidly beating heart. She was covered in a cold sweat, the rough pelt wrapped haphazardly around her waist and right leg, evidence of the restless night she had - twisting and turning in her sleep. She had a nightmare, one she couldn't recall though she was sure it revolved around a certain blonde woman.

She tried to calm her racing heart, shutting her eyes and pressing a fist onto her forehead lightly, as though it could dismiss the sinister scenes her mind had delivered in her slumber instead of the rest she yearned for. Her breathing slowly regained normalcy, but the tension in her chest did not subside. She finally opened her eyes to the new day. Her throat was dry, so she made her way to the jug placed on her table and gulped a glass of water. Her body felt drained of its strength. Her limbs hurt. She felt exhausted externally as well as internally. The last part was new to her. She couldn't recall feeling weak internally in a very long time. She had been injured a lot of times and physical pain didn't matter to her anymore. Last night's reckless, needless and limitless sword 'practice' was the cause of the stress in her limbs. It was very rare for her to be exhausted after merely exercising but how long had she been at it? 5 hours? 6? I think I broke my own record, she mused. Thinking back to the present, this new feeling of being emotionally drained returned. She frowned. What was happening to her? After splashing cold water on her face, as if it would also wipe away the memories she was trying very hard to block, she made her way out of her tent.

The sun was just beginning to make its presence known on the horizon, not yet delivering any warmth, but lighting the sky to a dark blue shade. The camp was silent and Lexa could only hear the low rhythmic footsteps of her guards guarding the perimeter; that too thanks to her remarkable hearing. Her mind was burdened and she could not think properly. She needed to clear it up so she could perform her role as the Commander of thousands of people of the 12 clans.

She made her way to one of the guard patrolling. He, upon seeing her, instantly bowed his head in respect and acknowledged her, "Heda." She nodded in response and asked the warrior to fetch her a horse in Trigedasleng.

He immediately obeyed and brought her the finest horse; her brown, strong, lethal horse. She took the reins and left the camp without a word. The guard had wanted to accompany her for her safety but had been silenced with one look of the deadly Commander.

Riding was all about the feel of it, for the troubled Commander. The feel of a connection between her and the horse, soft and supple through the reins, the feel of her hips freely moving in sync with the horse's strides, the feel of a firm back delivering a well-timed half-halt. The more she put her attention to these feelings, the more harmonious and joyful riding became. She was no longer the Commander everyone feared, rather a young innocent woman. A free woman. The woman she wanted to be. Carefree. Joyous. Lighthearted and happy. The woman she could never be.

She commanded her horse to stop by pulling the reins when she reached a clearing in the forest. This was her favourite spot. It was not the most beautiful piece of land she had witnessed but she loved this place because of the peace and tranquility it offered. Even the birds were quiet here. She got off her horse and sat down on the grass.

Then she tried to recall her dream. Nightmare would be more accurate. The Commander was fearless and hadn't had any nightmares since Costia's death. She closed her eyes and lied down. The images of last night came flashing back to her in bits and pieces. Clarke hanging upside down, being drained of her blood. Clarke being tortured, her nails brutally removed. Clarke being electrified. Clarke being...she jolted her eyes open and in a swift motion sat up. "No," she whispered softly, defeated. She had lost the battle against herself. She was totally and utterly in love with Clarke; the girl who hated her.