"i think he's waking up!"
minghao groaned, eyes opening slowly. he could see a few people around him, not able to get a grip on their faces before rubbing his eyes.
there, around him, were joshua, soonyoung, seungkwan, vernon, jinki(?), and kai.
"what..." he coughed for a moment, looking up again. "i... i was practicing, and..."
jinki stepped forwards, rubbing him soothingly on the back. "it's fine, you're fine. thank goodness seungcheol had the thought to check on you."
seungcheol wasn't here, as well as a bunch of the project:wonder members. "where are the others anyways?"
"outside. they didn't allow all of us in here," kai answered. "are there any specific people you'd want to see?"
minghao paused and thought. who would he spill his entire past to? "cheol, jeonghan, and jihoon. jinki and shua can stay."
the others seemed to get the message, quickly exiting the room. seungcheol, jeonghan, and jihoon entered not soon after.
"okay, where do i start here?" he took a deep breath before sighing. he hadn't told this story to anyone. "i'm anorexic, if you couldn't guess. and i've never wanted to view myself this way.
"it all started in high school. i got into a relationship with this guy, and things were perfect. but after we graduated, things started going downhill. he kept judging me. too feminine. too loud. too clingy. eventually, one thing kept resurfacing. too fat. and i... i loved him way too much to see how toxic he was. not only that, but i didn't have a job. he was all i had.
"of course, i kept wanting to be perfect for him. i didn't want him to dump me. and of course, i never noticed how much it affected my mental health and how i thought about myself. even when i became a trainee here, i still did it. i still thought i wasn't good enough for anyone. and now, i'm here. the thing is, i still think i'm not good enough for anyone here. i don't even know why you think i was worth saving."
minghao let out another sigh, squeezing his eyes shut. he didn't want to see how everyone reacted. he didn't want them to comfort him.
he could hear jinki whispering, but was not able to get a grip on what he was saying. he only cracked his eyes open when he could feel a hand resting on his leg.
the room was now empty, jinki being the only person remaining. "look, minghao, i know what you're going through. i... it was something i've gone through myself. and i know that i can't just tell you that you'll get better, because that's something that's really hard. and trying to comfort you. but... i have to release a statement for the company, and i have to know how much you want everyone to know."
minghao thought for a moment. he didn't know what he was going to say. after all of that, jinki had just moved on like it was nothing. he did appreciate that he didn't try to reassure him, however. "um, just that i fainted while i was practicing because i'm not healthy. but i want them to know it's all my fault."
the older nodded. "i'm pretty sure the doctors are going to be checking in on you. i can send the others in after if you want."
"um, alright." minghao watched jinki walk out of the room, a doctor walking in.
~
hello. this is JIK ENT.
we regret to inform you that the anticipated videos of project:wonder's live dance covers of "crush" and "magic" will be delayed due to the health of member minghao.
he has asked us to not release much information, but we were advised to share this: minghao was rehearsing last night and fainted due to poor health. he wanted to make it clear that this was all on his own accord, having to do with his personal matters and having no connections to the company itself.
the trainee is currently in a stable condition and will continue to seek medical treatment until his health returns to a more stable area, essentially being inactive in activities. in the meantime, the other 9 members will continue to work on their own.
thank you.
minghao had seen the statement, seeing the reactions from fans. all in all, everyone was concerned for him and wondering just why the message was so ambigious. there was no culprit for that besides minghao himself.
he took note of his phone lighting up from the table beside him, texts from mingyu and wonwoo on the screen.
beanie hyung 💞
i should've noticed. i'm sorry, hao. things will get better.
gyu 🔥
get some rest, hao. take care of yourself.
he didn't have the energy to respond, and probably shouldn't have, but he still did. he sent a similar message to each of them.
me
thanks.
he was just glad that someone cared. just before he put his phone down, it started to vibrate and a familiar face settled on screen.
junhui 💔
is calling...
he really shouldn't have answered, but something about the picture that he used for junhui's profile made him want to.
it was an old picture, back from when they were in love. the smiles on their faces were genuine.
geniune. junhui had been following him.
he picked up, letting out a sigh as he brought the phone to his ear. "hello?"
"you picked up." there was a sort of relief in the older's voice.
"don't make me regret it." he meant to sound threatening, but minghao's voice wasn't exactly in the best condition at the moment.
"right." there was a sigh on the other end. "hao, i'm sorry. this is all my fault, and i know that no matter how much i apologize, the fact that i did shit like this won't change that what i did was bad."
"wait," minghao interrupted. "you're trying to apologize after nearly ruining my life? i wish i died so i wouldn't have to talk to you right now."
"hao. please, hear me out. you got to dump on me with how you felt about me, i get to talk about how i feel about you." he refrained from hanging up, now curious as to what junhui had to say.
"i... those last few weeks, where i was nice to you– it wasn't a facade. i was being a fucking idiot and had no reason to dump on you for things that didn't even matter. you've done way to much for me to even think about treating you like that, and i want you to know that i've really had a change of heart. i'm... different, ming."
minghao stayed silent. how was he supposed to react?
"well, i obviously can't expect you to immediately forgive me," junhui chuckled, though it wasn't happy. "if you ever decide to even give me a chance, you can call me. i'll always answer." junhui hung up there.
minghao had only been able to focus on the sincerity of his voice. it sounded like things had been torturous on his end, and damn the younger for being such am empathy.
he didn't call junhui for the rest of his hospital stay.
ringed and trapped
trapped in a cage
i'm like saturn
i cant escape
YOU ARE READING
𝗣𝗟𝗨𝗧𝗢. ❥ junhao.
Fanfiction"𝙛𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙪𝙩𝙤." 𝗺𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲. ➪. in which minghao hates his life, and junhui's there to make it worse. ~ contains swearing, abuse, eating disorders, and more lowercase intended side by side with...
