friends with benefits?

missing you pt. 2

JESSICA'S POV

It had been a week, this is now finals week. I've been dreading this week but more so I've been so depressed leading up to this week because of my breakup. I knew I wasn't going to be the one for him but yet I let myself try to be.

I've been getting calls from Logan, James, and Carlos. Each I've been declining, I've gotten nothing from Kendall. Which is probably good since I would've picked it up if I had. Kendall is my sweet spot, I couldn't stay away from him if he came back.

It was 5am, I haven't slept at all. I've just been stuck in my thoughts. Thinking about everything, where I went wrong and how I could've prevented this.

I get a facetime call from James, I pick up. It was a group call.

"Can you guys please stop calling me." I said.

"Sorry we know it's really early but we just wanted to check in on you." James said.

"How are you?" Logan asked.

"Jessica we know it's your finals week, do you need anything? We could help if you'd like." Carlos said.

The guys are all so sweet and I felt bad right away for being mean to them.

"I'm really sorry for being mean guys, I'm just going through a lot as you know. I just want to get through my finals so that I can be finished with school. It's sweet for you guys to check in and ask if I need anything but I think I'm ok, thank you."

"Of course, we're glad to help." Carlos said smiling through the phone.

"Hey weren't you planning on coming back to LA after your finals?" Logan asked.

Wow I completely forgot about that, "Yes I did but I think Ive changed my mind. I already cancelled my flight, could you guys let Kendall know that I won't be coming anymore?" I still upset me to say his name.

"We'll let him know Jess. We're sorry again." James said.

"Thanks guys, ok I'm gonna go. Its 5am and I'm gonna try and sleep before one of my exams, bye guys." I said.

They all said bye in unison and shared their own personal good lucks to me. I really appreciated the guys, they felt like brothers.

Just as I was about to fall asleep I heard I knock on my door. I opened it slowly and just a bit, just enough for me to see who it was. It was Kendall, I stared into his green beautiful eyes that I love.

"Can I come in?" He asked. What was I supposed to do say no? I moved to the side letting him know it was ok for him to walk in.

He had flowers in his hand, my favorite sunflowers and a bag of food in his other hand.

"Have you eaten? I brought you some Alfredo." It's my favorite type of pasta.

"It's ok, Kendall. I'm not hungry."

"Please, Jess? I know you haven't eaten." I sat on my bed as he followed and handed me the Alfredo with a fork. I took it and had a few bites before I put it away, next he gave me water and I drank some before putting it away as well. He watched me as I did both, making sure I had food and water in my body. "Thank you." He said.

"So what are you doing here?" I asked, it was almost 6 in the morning now.

"I wanted to talk to you in person."

"About what Kendall?"

"I wanted to apologize, Jess I'm so sorry."

"So what did I do wrong? Why did I make you cheat?"

KENDALL'S POV

Hearing her ask what she did wrong hurt me so much, it was all my fault yet she blamed herself.

"Jess you didn't do anything wrong, it was all my fault."

"Why did you do it then?" Her tears started to form, they filled her eyes quickly and soon they were dripping down her cheeks and falling off her face.

"I don't know." Was all I could manage to get out.

"You don't know? How could you not know?" She became angry now, which is good. She hasn't been showing it and it's u healthy. She began to push me away but I wouldn't budge, she tried bringing me out of her dorm but I stayed. I grabbed hold of her arms and held her as she tried to get out to keep hitting me. Soon enough I felt her give up. She looked up at me, "Why Kendall."

"Jess I love you, I'm sorry."

"I love you too Kendall, that's why we can't be together." My heart broke into a million pieces hearing those words.

I held her tight, "Give me another chance please." I began to cry as well now. I really did fuck up and I didn't mean it.

"Kendall, I don't know if I can."

"I understand, could I just hold you for a bit before I go?"

She hugged me back and I sighed. I rested my head to the crook of her neck and I felt at home. Being able to hold her made me feel like nothing else in the world mattered. I felt her kiss my head. I brought my head up and kissed her lips.

I pulled back quickly, "shoot. I'm so sorry Jess. It just happened." She kissed me back, I missed this feeling. "Are you sure?" She nodded her head. I began making out with her and we went to her bed. I laid down as she sat on top of me we continued to make out while she moved her hips back and forth added pressure on me, I could feel myself getting hard and it felt good.

"Kendall, I don't want to have sex." She told me.

"That's ok, Jess. Why don't you rest for a bit before your exam?" She smiled at me and got off me. She moved next to me and turned away and laid down. "Is it ok if I spoon you while you rest? I'll wake you up before your exam."

"Of course, thanks Ken."