Chapter 12

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Lauren POV

You know you love someone when their happiness means more to you then own. I made Camila break up with me because I didn't have the heart to do it. I can't tell her I'm leaving and there nothing I could do about it. I can't have her thinking there is a future with us when there probably isn't.

I'm moving there was no doubt about that, there is not changing that. I can't hold or kiss Camila anymore because I know I will only grow more attached if that was even possible. She needs to get over me now so she can start the healing process. Maybe she will find a rebound and fall in love all over again. She deserves love, all the love in this world; the best love. That is why I know I need to think of her feelings more than mine and no matter how much I want think I know this is for the best. I rather have her hate me then to miss me. Once she hates me she will get over me but if she misses me, she will still be hurting. I don't want her to get more then she has to. I know this isn't easy for either of us but maybe this will help.

Days and days go by, probably a couple weeks. I see her at school and it's painful. I go home straight to my room and never come out. I hardly eat anymore. My parents are concern. They've asked me a couple time but I always answer with I'm fine.

They would also ask about Camila. That hurt the most. I didn't have the heart to tell them we broke up because of the move. I wanted them to think our love was eternal that it can handle anything life through at us. But I can't face reality, it's not. Our love had ended. She won't take me back and she won't come begging back for me. It reminds me of a saying "IF you love someone let them go if they come back it was meant to be" I didn't know if this was a test or not but at this point I wouldn't blame her if she didn't come back. Face it I fucked up again, bad.

Most days I would come home and cry. I would smoke to get so high it would ease the pain. I wouldn't feel anything I just sat on my bed or talk with my best friend Alexa. When it got late enough after I know my parents won't bug me I would take a sleeping pill so I would be done for the day. My dreams became the only way I could be with Camila so I tried sleeping as much as possible. My dreams became my reality because in my dreams we were still together with no complications.

There was no need to do homework I found no point in doing it. I can't function. I was thinking of going back out with Luis and party just like I use to but I know if I start now there is no going back. Even though Camila and I weren't together I felt attached and it would feel as if I cheated on her if I did all those things again.

Camila POV

How does one cope with feeling lost? How can you go through life knowing you lost the love of your life again. How can you go from being the most perfect person to being the person who broke your heart? Someone who bring you love and so much pain. Literally love until it hurts.

At school she won't look at me once. She changed classes so I will no longer have her in my classes. She didn't eat in the same building as me. It's as if Lauren made it her mission to be away from me. If she was trying to break my heart in the process it was working. Every day I felt more and more crushed.

I tried spending as much time as I could not to think about her. I did my homework all on time. My grades were at an all-time high because I would drown myself in reading and studying because I didn't want to think of anything else. I tried spending time with Dinah and Normani, it helps but nothing actually makes me forget her. Everything I do reminds me of her. Normani suggested that I should remove the picture of Lauren and I from my room. The biggest thing of all was to remove the bracelet Lauren gave me for my birthday. The bracelet I wore that represented our love.

I couldn't remove it because it's the only thing that I felt connected to her. Somehow in my head I got the idea if I wear the bracelet she would come back to me. Crazy? I know but after all this is our story, our love. Having the bracelet was like having her with me, that she was mine, when she wasn't.

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