Carrying The Weight Of The World [on hold]

05 - Surprise, Surprise

Surprise, Surprise

At the sight of Mom in the kitchen, I stopped dead in my tracks. Last time she made us dinner, it had been take-out. Three weeks had passed since. Yet, as if she hadn’t been missing for days, she hummed some song to herself, slightly swaying her hips, while she stirred in a pot on the stove. Mom didn’t notice I stood staring at her from the doorway, and I couldn’t find my voice to speak. I was too stunned at what I witnessed that I couldn’t even bring myself to say hello.

“You’re home!” The sound of Tommy’s cheery voice made me snap out of my thoughts. From behind, he threw his arms around my middle. My little brother was happy and his enthusiasm was audible in his voice. “Mom’s back!”

“I can see,” I replied when Mom turned around. She sent me one of her big smiles, the kind of smile we didn’t get too see very often. At the same time, this smile didn’t warm my heart. In fact, her smile had the very opposite effect.

“Good!” Mom chimed while wiping her hands clean on her apron. “You’re home.”

Before I had a chance to tell her I could say the same about her, she shocked me even more. She walked over and kissed me on the cheek. To most people, this didn’t seem an odd gesture but it was to me.

As much as I wanted to ask her where she had been, what she had been up to and why she was unnaturally cheery and what brought on the perfect mother act, I didn’t want to start a fight with her as soon as she got home, especially not while Tommy was in the room. I had some very not-so-nice things to say and I didn’t want Tommy to hear any of them. As long as Tommy was within hearing distance, I would have to play nice.

“You look nice,” I complimented her appearance. I hadn’t missed the up-do of her hair, the borderline subtle make-up and the cornflower blue dress she never wore unless it was a special occasion. “You’re cooking and you’re all dressed up, what’s the occasion?”

“Does there have to be an occasion? Can’t a mother spoil her children, make them a nice dinner to show how much she loves them?”

“Of course,” I muttered disbelievingly and bit back the sarcastic remark that burned the top of my tongue. “I just wondered.”

Mom turned back around and silently, she started stirring in her pots again. Seeing her behavior for what it was, the silence before the storm, I took in a deep breath and braced myself for what was to come.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” I offered half-heartedly. Pretty sure that all hell would break loose in only a short matter of time, I convinced myself it wouldn’t kill me to play along. This nice mom act wouldn’t last long and for Tommy’s sake, I wanted to make it last as long as possible.

Over her shoulder, she smiled at me. “No darling, it’s nice of you to ask, but why don’t you go ahead to the living room and have some fun with your brother and sister. Maybe there’s something on television that you could watch.”

Going against every instinct, I ignored the alarm bells that went off in my head. When things turned south, I would deal with it then and not a moment sooner – or so I tried to tell myself. In the end, I did as told and joined Jessie and Tommy on the couch in the living room. Declan wasn’t downstairs, but showed up half an hour later when Mom called him down for dinner.

Just like any normal family probably did on a daily basis, we all sat together at the dining table instead of the smaller table in the kitchen that barely fit four people. We never ate at the dining table except during holidays or special occasions like family visits or birthdays. Yet, today Mom had set the table in the living room and that was another sign that nothing good would come from this unexpected family dinner.