Only of You

Chapter Nine

Billie Joe helped his mom make dinner and I sat on the couch with Mike watching the tube for a while longer. He was real chatty and seemed like he was having a hell of a time which made me happy because it was his birthday and all.

I was hungry as hell by the time the food was ready and Ollie made us all sit at the table with her. Normally I would have felt embarrassed by the whole thing on account of the fact that I'd never had a family meal at the table before but it was real nice. Ollie was real nice too and for the first time ever I felt like an adult actually liked me and wasn't judging me or anything.

After dinner Mike went to his room to do some damn homework, for God's sake. That killed me because I couldn't believe he actually cared about school. So Billie Joe offered to drive me home, which was nice because I didn't really wanna call Jesse up and ask him to get me since he was always doing things for me all the time.

When we got in the car Billie Joe only put the stereo on quiet which was weird, since he normally played it so damn loud the speakers crackled. He was driving real slow too but I kind of figured he was real tired or something from smoking pot all day.

He didn't say anything to me for a while and I didn't say anything either because I was kind of nervous with him again. Even though we had been talking all day and all. Something about being in the car alone with him made me scared as hell.

I could feel him looking at me suddenly and I turned to look at him too. He had his eyes on me for too damn long to be able to drive properly and I wanted to tell him to knock it off but I really didn't feel like arguing because it was so nice to get along with him for a damn change.

"Is Jesse your boyfriend?" He asked me out of nowhere and I almost laughed about it because it was such a dumb question. Any moron alive could see I was in love with Billie Joe, I was sure of it.

"No." I said real quick and looked away from him.

He looked back at the road and didn't say anything for a minute and I wondered what the hell he was thinking about.

I didn't expect him to keep talking but then he asked me, "do you like him? Y'know like as a boyfriend?"

That made me laugh for real when he said that and I started shaking my head real big. "No I don't fuckin' like him. He's just a good friend."

Billie Joe didn't laugh or anything so I didn't know if I had pissed him off for some damn reason, but he didn't seem too angry. It seemed weird to say but usually I could feel the mood change when he got mad, like his attitude was so damn bad it radiated off of him.

He started looking at me again and I could feel his damn stare practically burning holes in the side of my head while I tried to avoid looking at him. But because I couldn't resist I turned my head again and his eyes suddenly looked real dark. Not literally or anything but he kind of had this dark look behind them like he was thinking something bad.

"He kissed you." He said without taking his damn eyes off me.

I didn't know what to say because I honestly didn't know why the hell Jesse had done that. I thought he was just dickin' around for the hell of it because he was a comical sort of guy, but I thought Billie Joe wouldn't buy it if I told him that, so for the first time in my life I started being honest, even though part of me wanted to tell him Jesse was my damn boyfriend just to sound cool.

"I don't know why he did that." I said. "I didn't want him to kiss me or anything, I don't like him like that."

He didn't say anything and he looked back at the road which I was glad about because I thought he was going to drive off the damn road any minute. The rest of the drive was quiet as hell but I didn't mind because it was kind of nice just being with Billie Joe, it wasn't awkward or anything.