𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒆 - 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒔 𝑹𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒊

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Shocked I wake up, covered in sweat. The whole sheets were wet of my sweat. My heart is racing and I'm out of breath. My alarms says it's already 8:39 AM. I had a flashback dream tonight, and it was a hot dream. I feel disgusting, how could I dream of that. It was two years ago, my first time. It was with my boyfriend Thomas Raggi back than.

October 20th 2019

He grabs my hands and traced them to his boxer, "come on baby don't be scared, I don't judge". His voice made me a little less scared. It was my first time and it had to be perfect. Thomas moans load as soon as my hand starts touching his hard one. His warm hands squeezes in my hips and we both moan load.

His lips make little round around my belly button, when I pull my hand out of his boxer. My eyes are closes, focussing on his lips. With his one hand he tries to pull down my slip. "Are you okay with?". Immediately I nodded and I disappeared in a sea of pleasure.

I try to clear my mind, but I keep thinking about that dream. It's weird because Thomas and I broke up four months ago. My legs get the rest of my body out of my bed and I open the window. I search in my room for my cigarettes, "fuck", forgot to buy them yesterday.

Without the taste of smoke in my mouth I get myself under the shower. I wash the sweat of my body, and wash my dark blond hair. Thomad and I were a powercouple. Always together. Never in a fight. The whole world thought we would be together forever.

And to be honest, I thought that too. Until he decides to break up because he did not have enough time for me. I know that was a lie, because all the free time he had he spended with me. He was like, 'I'm sorry Elena, we have to break up' he said it and five minutes later he was gone.

I never spoke to him anymore. We saw each other sometimes, but I always ignored him. Thomas Raggi was the love of my life and I never met someone as amazing as he. And I really thought that I was the love of his life too, apparently not.

Victoria, Ethan and Damiano were always my best friends, and I still speak to them a lot. But of course it's less, because they are always with Thomas. They also hated Thomas when he broke up with me, but it was his choice.

I'm so drowned in my thought about Thomas that I don't even hear my phone buzzing. It's Veronica, Victoria her little sister, and my best friend. "Elena, thank god I thought you were dead", she sighs in relieve when I pick up my phone after she called already five times. I chuckle, "I was showering Nica, calm down".

I put her on speaker and dry myself. "Well, wanna go shopping or something with Victoria, she said you haven't spoke in a while"."O my gosh yea I haven't sounds fun!", I hear her say something to someone else I cannot understand. "Nica I can hear you are not alone", I know her too long for this. She giggles, "I'm at the bands house, and Thomas stepped in".

I sigh, why is the only thing I hear today Thomas. "Anyways Elena, me and Vic will pick you up in an hour". I hang up the phone. I am that girl who is so slow, with everyting. My normal morning routine takes at least one and a half hour.

October 20th 2019

I'm still exhausted from what happened ten minutes ago. Thomas went to get something to drink. I lay in his bed, fully naked. The sheets of the bed are filled with sweat. When my boyfriend comes in I cover my body with a banket. "Please love, don't hide, it's nothing I haven't seen before".

His sweaty hands throw the blanket away and her kisses my breasts. "I have something for you", he whispers against my lips. Thomas grabs a tiny dark red box of the ground and hands it over to me. I open the little box while Thomas pulls me closer to him warm body.

With my left hand I grab a tiny bracelet out of the little box, it says 'E and T forever'. A single tears rolls down my cheek, Thomas licks it away. "It's beautiful Thommy".

I'm eating my breakfast, while getting this deja vu. How is it possible that I can only think about my ex boyfriend today. That little bracelet is still somewhere in my appartment, I never returned it. I try to clear my head and throw a glass of ice cold water in my face, "Stop thinking about your ex", I yell at myself. Somewhere in my appartment is a little box with every memory I have from Thomas, I made that box to heal, I was broken and so mad when he dumped me.

I know exactly where that box is, when I moved to this appartment I hid it on the bottom of my closet. It takes maybe ten seconds and I hold a black box with a middle finger on it, I giggle, I really hated him the first weeks.

The box is filled with memories, which all came back. He gave me so much presents. He wrote me love letters, and I still have so many T- shirt of his. I always liked his clothes more than mine so I wore his clothes a lot. Also the little golden bracelet is in here. I have to stop looking at these stuff. We both moved on

I put the box away. And throw another glass of cold water in my face, when I hear a key in my frontdoor. Nica had my key, in case I die and cannot open the door myself, at least that is what Veronica thinks is the reason.  

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OMG THE FIRST PART IS OUT, I'm so freaking excited to write this book for you guyysss

XXXXXXXXXXXX, Eva