The Padawan and the Rebel

The Padawan: Eshan

Aayla had been sent on diplomatic missions to Alderaan, Ryloth, and other planets. When not in diplomatic meetings with senators and other planetary leaders – meetings that made Adhara want to poke her eyes out – Adhara was practicing her Force Cloak for Aayla on their ship, or walking the streets of the cities beside the Jedi Master.

"You may be skilled with a lightsaber and the Force," Aayla said after a meeting with the Alderaan senator, Bail Organa, "but you are sorely lacking when it comes to diplomatic meetings."

Adhara furrowed her nose. "Why would I need to know how to talk with senators and politicians?"

"Because, padawan, we are peacekeepers. The definition of peacekeeper has changed because of the war. Now Jedi fight before they talk. But your voice.." she touched Adhara's lips, "...is your most powerful weapon. A voice can make empires rise and fall. Learn how to wield it."

Adhara shook her off. "I guess because I've become a Jedi during the war, I don't know anything else."

Aayla shot her a knowing smile. "It could be because of the company you keep, as well."

Adhara laughed, thinking about Master Skywalker, who dove head first into any battle, and her Master Kenobi, who although was very levelheaded, was quick to draw his saber.

And Ahsoka, of course, who was both.

Maybe Adhara was, too. But maybe she didn't have to be.

For a moment, her mind went to Aitor. Could she have saved him from the darkness if she had used her words before her actions? Could she have pulled him back to her, if he knew how much he meant to her, even after everything?

Could she still do that? Or was he too far gone, to entrenched in the red of death and destruction, in the red that still haunted her nightmares?

"Besides," Aayla added, walking through the streets of Alderaan, "I think we can all learn something from politicians. Politicians know how to keep their emotions hidden. Have you ever met any of the Queens of Naboo? You can't see an expression on their faces. We are Jedi, are we not? And yet they show us up. Maybe we should learn to be more like them."

Adhara's jaw locked. Could Master Secura look into her mind? Because it felt like she'd seen through Adhara's eyes and into her soul.

It was exactly what Adhara was trying to do - mask her emotions, bury them deep, deep, deep down, where even she couldn't find them. She'd never been an overly violent person, but she wanted to massacre her feelings. She wanted to hurtle them out a ship window and into the depths of the universe.

But it was hard to do that when she fell asleep and found herself laughing with Ahsoka again, years younger, in the Jedi Temple as Younglings. When she felt Ahsoka's shoulder under her head as a ship rocked and swayed and jumped into hyperspace around them. When she dreamed of the sky running down Ahsoka's face like tears while she bruned to ashes, ruining Adhara's nickname for her as she said "don't let me keep you from your purpose."

It had been weeks, but those words haunted Adhara more than any goodbye ever had.

Could it be that easy, to watch a politician hide their emotions and do the same?

Was that all there was to it? Was hiding them all she had to do? Or did she have to pull them from her body like a parasite, not realizing they had grown roots right into her very core and to yank out her feelings for Ahsoka was to yank out her own heart?

"Now, go talk to that man," Aayla said, jolting Adhara out of her thoughts. "Ask him about his life. His world."

Adhara spluttered. "What? Master, no, I'm not going to walk up to a stranger!"