The Padawan and the Rebel

The Padawan: The Battle of Kiros

As they flew to Kiros, Adhara shot a glance - or a few - at Ahsoka.

Though Ahsoka was originally from Shili, it didn't stop the fact that the Togruta were her people. The separatists invading Kiros when the Togruta there had decided to remain neutral in the war rubbed everyone the wrong way, but Ahsoka most of all. Even now, Adhara could see the anger in how stiff Ahsoka's limbs were, in the way a muscle flickered in her jaw. No one else could see it but her.

They'd always been able to read each other.

Adhara looked away, swallowing. She couldn't say anything to Ahsoka, though. She didn't have the right to anymore. She had held their friendship between her hands and crushed it, stomping across it as she left for two months, and nothing had been the same since she returned.

That was the point, she tried telling herself, when the few looks Ahsoka shot her way felt like daggers into her soul. It was supposed to change. This was what had to be done.

The words rung hallow. She'd been saying them to herself for so long, they'd lost their charm.

She looked away from Ahsoka, and her gaze immediately latched onto Obi-Wan's.

He raised his eyebrows at her, as if saying, if you're so over Ahsoka why are looking at her so much?

Adhara widened her eyes and splayed her fingers in front of her, as if saying, I don't know what you're talking about.

I better not have made a mistake trusting you, Obi-Wan's eyeroll seemed to say.

Adhara grimaced internally. After her and Aayla had returned from Eshan, Obi-Wan had immediately taken her away from Anakin and Ahsoka.

"So?" he'd said once they were out of earshot. "How did it go?"

"It was a very eventful and insightful month, Master. Master Secura taught me a lot."

He nodded. "I'm glad." His eyes were solemn as he regarded her. "How about our...other little problem?"

Adhara had gritted her teeth together. She had never lied to her master, but at the same time... she had mastered the force cloak by thinking about Ahsoka. She'd spent the entire two months away grappling with her feelings for Ahsoka, and even though they hadn't changed at all, she felt stronger than she ever had before. Her head clearer.

Maybe it wasn't a feeling she had to beat down, but one she had to accept.

She didn't know. But she wanted to explore it, at Ahsoka's side.

So she'd said, "Our problem is no more, Master. Two months is a long time to be away from someone. It is enough time for emotions to change."

Obi-Wan's face eased, and it made a guilty jolt flash through Adhara.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said, squeezing her shoulder. "I know it was hard, Adhara, but you'll see it was worth it."

She'd forced a smile, thinking, Ahsoka will find that hilarous.

Maybe she would have, in a different life. But in this one, Ahsoka had done exactly what Adhara couldn't - she'd moved on.

Adhara swallowed. Fingered her lightsaber, and forced her mind to be still. Forced her gaze to land anywhere but on Ahsoka.

It felt cruelly ironic, that when Adhara realized her feelings for Ahsoka might be something bigger, Ahsoka was the one who pulled away, fading like the mist.

****

Adhara sheathed her lightsabers as the battle on Kiros came to a close. But she still felt tension inside of her, in the way silence hung over the planet. How the lack of civilization made cold skitter across the dusty ground.