14 - Too Close To See

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What do I do now?

The next day, Kira was still trying to think of a way she could go and see Drev, while keeping his presence in the old village a secret from Marko.

She had a feeling that trying to sneak out on her own would be a bad idea. If Marko had noticed her sneaking out once, he would probably discover her again.

But she couldn't just not go, especially not when Drev was sick. For the moment, she put together a bundle of food and herbs for him, hiding it away until nighttime fell.

When the time was right, she rapped lightly on Marko's door, then stepped out of the house. She didn't have to wait long before he appeared, already dressed for the cold.

"I'm glad you're letting me come with you," he said, sounding almost cheerful.

"Well, I'm not all too happy about it but I suppose I don't have much of a choice."

"Surely, you understand why I can't let you go out there alone?"

She said nothing, putting one foot in front of the other. Marko fell into step beside her, running a curious gaze over her. "What's in the pack?"

"Nothing. Just some... snacks."

"Can I have some?"

She pulled the bag away from him on instinct, and he cocked a brow at her. "Kira, you're acting really strange. What are you hiding?"

"Nothing." She waited for a while as they continued walking, now outside the edges of Litur Cas. "Look, I have a favor to ask you. When we get to the village, I want you to wait outside for me."

"Why?"

"I told you last night, I want to be alone with my thoughts. This was my home, where I grew up, where my father was killed..."

Next to her, Marko exhaled heavily. "I understand how important the place must be to you. But I'm just concerned about your safety."

Kira frowned to herself. What would happen when he and Drev ran into each other again? Knowing them, they'd get into another fight, and Kira wasn't sure she'd be able to stop them. She was afraid of seeing either of them get hurt. Drev meant everything to her, but she'd come to care about Marko too lately.

By the time they reached the village, Kira's heart was pounding with dread. Marko remained by her side as they stepped through, and she noticed the way he took in the ruins all around them with a sad expression. "It feels cursed, this place," he murmured.

"Not to me."

"Could you live here again someday?"

"Maybe, after enough time has passed."

"Where's your home?"

She pointed it out for him - the house was not too badly damaged, compared to some of the other buildings, slumbering away beside a great oak tree.

Just then, they heard a noise off to the side. Marko stepped in front of her, his hand reaching for his bow. Kira froze, thinking that it must be Drev. She wasn't sure whether it would be better to stay silent or let out a warning scream.

But as it turned out, it wasn't Drev who turned up but Lobo, who must have heard her voice.

"Oh, look at that," Marko said, relaxing and watching as Lobo went right up to her, tail wagging fervently. "He seems to know you?"

"Uh, yes. He came from the mounts. I used to feed him and take care of him, but I guess he, um, followed me down here. He lives in this village now."

Marko gazed at her for a long moment, then broke into a smile. "So, that's why you were coming out here."

"Huh?"

"You know, you could have just told me this was all for a mutt, Kira."

"Oh...," she went, starting to see things from his point of view. This could work. "Yes, he may be just a dog to some people but he's a lot more than that to me."

"Why don't we bring him back to Litur Cas with us then?" he suggested, moving as if to pick up the dog.

"No, don't!"

"Why not?"

"You have to understand... Lobo's not used to being a kept dog. He likes being free to roam, to do his own thing."

"But surely, we can't just leave him out here. It'll be safer for him in Litur Cas, and for you too, I might add."

She grabbed his shoulder before he could touch Lobo again, pulling him back. "Listen to what I'm saying, Marko. He's not ready for it, and if you try to push him, he will turn on you. I've seen it with my own eyes."

Marko paused thoughtfully, seeming to believe her. "I see. He'll need time to trust us then."

"Yes. In the meantime..." She handed out her pack to Lobo, and he took it in his mouth, trotting off with it.

There you go, Drev. I'm sorry I can't come see you tonight. This will just have to do.

"Alright," she said to Marko, turning around. "Time to go."

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it," she replied, impatiently motioning for him to follow. She wanted to be out of here before Drev or Marko caught wind of each other.

As they started out of the village, Marko reached for her hand but she pulled away, taken aback.

"I'm sorry," he blurted, sounding like he felt bad. "It was just that yesterday... it was nice, holding hands with you."

"Marko, I thought you didn't feel that way about anyone, not since your sister."

"I don't, but I feel like you and I have opened up a lot to each other lately. It's nice to have someone I can feel close to."

Kira stared at him for a moment, and now, she was the one who felt bad. Despite his position - or perhaps because of it - Marko didn't really have anyone in his life, not even a best friend. She supposed it must get terribly lonely.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I won't do it again."

"It's alright. I know you meant nothing by it."

He gazed at her for a moment, smiling at her in a way that seemed bittersweet.

"What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?" 

"I was just remembering something your mother said to me the other day. She said you've changed a lot ever since you came down from the mounts."

"I have? How so?"

"She said you're a lot more sure of yourself now. You're not the shy, timid girl you used to be. It's like you grew up all of a sudden, she said. Though I imagine you had to, in order to survive that place and those people," he muttered, shaking his head.

"They're not all bad."

"I'm amazed you can say that. Maybe it's just in your nature to be forgiving. I wish I could be like that but... "

"Marko, I was there. I lived with these people. Believe me when I tell you, they're not all the cruel savages we think they are."

He scowled, and she sensed she was starting to enter dangerous territory here. "Who are these exceptions that you're talking about? The one who you brought into Litur Cas that first morning?"

"Drev helped me, helped all of the Five."

"And my sister? Did he help her?"

Kira pursed her lips, thinking carefully over her next words. "Maybe he had nothing to do with her death."

"And maybe you're being too kind."

"That's funny, coming from you."

"Well, there are some things and some people that just cannot be forgiven."

Or forgotten, no matter how hard we try, she thought, glancing over her shoulder with longing in her heart.

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