Two Broken Souls

chapter nineteen

On Friday morning, I'm in a contemplative mood as I cut across the quad to my class, threading absently between the lunch tables.

At this hour, the air still has that nice chill to it, and I wrap my cardigan more tightly around me. I don't bother to button it, though, because the cold would just blow into the gap between me and the polyester. But I don't mind, because it's comforting to hug it close.

On my way to third period, I see Harry in the hallway. He's leaning against a locker, one knee bent, talking to Natalie. She's laughing at every little thing he says. He doesn't seem to notice me as I walk by.

I avoid all eye contact with my classmates, as I make my way to my seat, willing the minutes to evaporate so that I can make a run for it. I didn't know how long I had been staring at the screen of my phone.

As soon as I lay my backpack down, however, Aaron has a question. "Way to go, Mia," he says. "Way to show us what you can do with your body!"

Turning bright red, I opened my mouth to snap at him, but Jared beat me to it. "Lay off, Becker," he says. Harry tensed next to me, his posture tightening, but Aaron just smirks.

"Don't listen to him." Jared said. I nodded my head and he placed his hand on my wrist, giving it a small squeeze.

Before he turned back around, Jared gave me a once over. "You look kind of different." He commented.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Harry beat me to it. "It's her sweater," Harry interrupted. He shrugs as we both regard him curiously. "She doesn't usually wear that sweater."

As class starts, my attention is absorbed by a conversation with Jared, who is sitting in front of me.

Thankfully, the bell rings, and Mrs. Bodeut eyes the classroom as she takes attendance. This project is almost over and we'll be done with high school soon.

At some point, Jared slips me a note because my phone is off. I see it under his arm, waving at me, and I take it. Drive-in tonight?

I write back: Sure.

If I want things to go back to normal, this is the first step. Maybe, I should just get back together with Jared. I feel like things were simpler back then. He never asked any questions.

I tap Jared's arm and hand him the note. Mrs. Bodeut walks to the whiteboard and writes POP QUIZ and then a list of questions. Everybody groans and there's the sound of ripping paper.

Paige punches me a little too hard in the arm. "What was that about?" she asked, but I waved her off.

Mrs. Bodeut raps on her desk. "In five more seconds. I will give each and every one of you an F on this quiz." She picks up a textbook and looks as if she's going to hurl it.

We all go quiet. She sets down the textbook. Jared turns around and now I can see the freckles on the base of his neck. The quiz is made up of five easy questions about sociology. And then, Mrs. Bodeut collects the papers and starts her lecture.

After class, Harry is out the door before Mrs. Bodeut finishes assigning the homework. Jared is by my side and he doesn't say it, but he makes it known that he wants to walk me to my next class. We don't hold hands or anything. I hold my textbooks.

"You and lover boy in a fight?" Jared mocks.

I sigh. "Don't be that guy, Jared."

"What guy?" He asks innocently as we walk, he nods at everyone who passes by him. We stopped at my locker. "I think we should get back together." I laugh off his suggestion. "I'm serious Mia." He threads our hands together. "We were great together."

The corner of his mouth goes up. When he smiles like that, there's a single dimple. It was the thing that got me the very first time I saw him. Without thinking, I reach up and kiss the dimple when what I mean to do is kiss his cheek. I don't know which of us is more surprised.

—

By the time Jared shows up at my house, he's five minutes early. We walked to the drive-in because it's only a mile from my house. I keep my hands in the pockets of my coat, but we walk with our arms bumping. It's like a first date all over again.

At the drive-in, we find Paige and Connor, who are parked in Connor's car. He drives an enormous old Chevy Impala, which is large as a city block. Jared opens the back door for me and I get in.

And it smells like smoke and old fast food and, faintly, of pot. I'm probably incurring years of secondhand smoke damage just sitting here.

The movie is a Japanese monster movie and before it starts, Jared, Connor, and Paige are all talking about how awesome college is going to be.

They're all going to Davis together. Paige is going to be rooming with some girl she met on Facebook while Connor and Jared room together.

I think about what it would be like if I applied to college. I would've gone to Davis and roomed with Paige instead.

I look over just in time to see Harry and his family park. I feel bad about blowing him off and being rude to him when he's been here this whole time. Hanging out with him would be more fun than this.

Anything would be more fun than this.The car is hot and funny, even though the windows are open. The second the movie starts, Connor and Paige lie down flat in the enormous front seat and go almost completely quiet. Almost. Every now and then I hear a slurping, smacking sound as if they're two hungry dogs lapping at the food bowl.

There are too many distractions, and so I talk over the noise to Jared, but he's more interested in sneaking his hand up my shirt. We are surrounded by cars and, beyond that, cornfields. There is no view except up. I tilt my head back, suddenly fascinated by the stars. Jared scrambles after me, and I pretend to know the constellations, pointing them out and making up stories about each one.

Jared puts his arm around me and kisses me, and for a minute I kiss him back. I'm transported back in time. A time when I felt happy and free. A time when I didn't have to worry about my future. A time when I was still me.

Then Jared's hand is snaking its way up my shirt again, and I pull away. The Impala is back. Connor and Paige are back. The silent movie is back.

I say, "I hate to do this, but I have a curfew."

"Since when?" I don't say anything because he knows that it'll just be a lie.

Jared offers to walk me home. I tell him no, I'm good, I got this, but he does it anyway.

"I had a great time," he says on my front step.

"Me too."

"I'll call you."

"Great."

He leans in to kiss me good night and I turn just slightly so he'll get my cheek instead. He's still standing there as I let myself inside the apartment.