Fighting our demons together

Chapter 6

The day of the first TK operation had arrived. The doctors had said it was something easy, a protocol operation, quick, open to see the size and shape of the tumor and above all, how to get it out without doing any harm.

The doctors had told Owen, the whole 126th's family, and himself that everything would be fine, they had told him four times in the whole speech, Carlos had counted them and as a cop, he knew what that meant.

As a policeman, when he repeated to the family of an injured or kidnapped person that everything was going to be all right, he was trying to comfort them, so that they would not think of all the horrible things that could happen. And that's precisely what went through Carlos' mind when TK's gurney disappeared through the elevator doors leading to the operating rooms.

"Babe, I need you to promise me...."

"No, don't even think about finishing that sentence." He told TK an hour before it was time for surgery. "We are not in a romantic movie where the main character dies in the arms of the loved one and we all cry because of how nice that was."

"Carlos, I'm serious. Babe." TK grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to the bed. "We both know that this operation, like any other where they open up your brain, can go wrong." Carlos wanted to say something but TK put two fingers over his lips and smiled. "I'm not going to ask you if something happens to me to find someone else and all that. What I want is for you to take care of my father. He's always acting strong, he's very strong, but I know what will happen if something happens to me."

"Yes, I do. He'll go down. We'll all go down. Do you think Judd will take it well?"

Carlos couldn't believe they'd had that conversation. It was only a few minutes, but it was too long for him not to be heartbroken and exhausted when it was over when they were alone; when there were hours left to find out if the operation went well or not.

They knew Owen would never be the same if his son didn't make it out of the O.R. alive, why had he himself had to survive one damn cancer and had to lose his son to another? They talked about Judd and how he had lost too many people already to bear losing him now. As for the rest of the team, it wouldn't be much better for them.

As for Carlos, the thought of it all was enough to take his mind off himself, his own fear, and how bad he was having it.

At least that was the case until the first two hours of the operation had passed and one of the doctors said they needed a little more time to finish.

The hospital chapel was empty and he was grateful for it.

He wanted no sympathy from anyone, least of all the first stranger to walk in there. However, he needed help to know how people did to connect with his thoughts or whoever was listening on the other side of his prayers.

When he heard the doors open and footsteps approaching, he smiled gratefully, he knew who he could count on at all times.

Judd's hand on his shoulder made him realize how tense he was and he dropped shoulders, back and his whole body into the embrace his friend gave him.

"Thanks for coming guys."

"Hey, that's what we're here for." Said Grace sitting down next to Carlos in the chapel pew. "I don't want to ask you the obvious."

Carlos smiled and nodded gratefully.

"I don't know how I feel. I don't want to be scared because I have to be sure everything is going to be okay, I can't leave Owen with all the weight of that responsibility."

"I understand, the captain is devastated," Judd said, sitting down on the other side of Carlos. "I think that man has spent all the hope that things will turn out well."