Seep Into Me Slowly

[Chapter 17]

First things first, they discard the bags on the kitchen counters. Then they go each into their own room to get rid of the sticky wet clothes, leaving traces of water behind them on the floors that they agreed to mop later.

They agreed each to take a quick cleansing shower, and then they'll meat up in the living room where they'll start their promised movie night. Silas was sudsing his arms with soap when he recalled how she'd always squeeze his arm to get his attention, or to feel him beside her at night in her sleep, a big sheepish grin crept up his lips on the thought. Similarly, Tatiana was shampooing her hair, remembering all the times he'd run his hands relaxingly in her long hair, or scratch her skull gently. She sighed in contention and scurried out to get dressed, not wanting to be late.

They both stumbled out of their respective rooms, meeting in the hallway, a childish smile generates on both their happy faces at the altercation. They walk side by side, firstly to kitchen to prepare popcorn and some much needed snacks. Silas starts microwaving the said popcorn bag, while Tatiana poured bags of chips and Cheetos into separate bowls. Satisfied with their end result -maybe a bit too much for two people, but hey! they could eat- they carried the bowls to the living room where they had set the movie player beforehand. All they had to do was choose a film from the unending list, and press play to start their evening.

After roughly fifteen minutes of arguing and discussing harmlessly, they finally settled on a random drama film that seemed interesting by its description. Silas settled back on the couch, Tatiana chose to sit in between his legs, so that her back was against his front. She laid her head back, letting it rest in the conjunction of his neck, resulting in his chin resting atop of her head, while he engulfed his arms around her, playing with the ends of her hair absentmindedly. Halfway through the thrilling movie, an unexpected sex scene came on, leaving them both perplexed and stiff at the
un-expectancy, he felt her body tense up, tilting her head forward so he couldn't look at her. She brought her hands to her face, her back shaking with what undoubtedly was tears.

He felt his heart clench painfully in his chest, hating, despising, to see her in this miserable condition. He brought his lips into a feather kiss on her shoulder "Hey, why're you crying?" He asked gently, his hands rubbing her arms up and down soothingly. She cried silently some more, refusing to meet his eyes "I-I'm not crying" She said in a sniffly tone, juxtaposition-ing her own self. He turned her around in his lap so she was facing him; straddling him more accurately. She still sobbed with her hands covering her eyes. He slowly uncovered them, bringing her palms close to his face and kissing them. "Why're you crying, baby?" He asked again in a small concerned tone. She looked at him with tear streaked cheeks. "It's that..that scene came on and it struck right at my heart" she sniffled before continuing "because I know you'd want that, it's only normal to do, and I- I can't be that for you now" She confessed with hurt glinting her eyes while biting her lower lip worriedly.

He brought her close, even closer than they have been, and kissed her red teary eyes, before grabbing her shoulders firmly "We went through this before. I don't care, and I don't want anyone that's not you. I'm delighted by whatever you give me" He assured and she still stared at him unconvinced. He sighed and went on "I want you. Whatever you decide to give me, whatever makes you comfortable, don't pressure yourself, love, it's not healthy" He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and she nodded "I'll try to, I can't promise I'll remain unaffected by this but I can try and remind myself of that" She stated honestly and he nodded, pleased with her words "Great, that's all I'm asking, don't beat yourself up" He told her wisely and she ended up nodding and hugging him tight, kissing his jaw in the process. It was the first time she initiated any type of kiss, other than when she was worried he left her after she told him that night, and it made his heart sway with ultimate joy like never before.

They resumed the long forgotten movie, reforming into their previous position, only a slight difference was his one hand rested in hers, she played with his fingers animatedly, while the other one drew lazy circles on her side; through the fabric of her thick hoodie. He couldn't overlook how she'd become more and more comfortable with his touch as each day passed on to the next. He remembered when over a month ago she was scared, terrified to the bone, of mere human contact. She flinched away at the littlest of touch, recoiling back into her own safe shell. Then, she'd become accustomed to his hand lightly grazing hers.

Flash forward, she was laying between his legs and she'd even initiated contact between them sometimes by hugging him or kissing him. He knew that sex was a big 'No' underlined in bold red for her at the moment, unquestioned. But, the progress his girl was making was remarkable. He hoped one day she feels comfortable enough to take that step with him; even if not, like he stated millions of times before, he'd still want her. Want to hold her, hug her to his chest. Kiss her forehead. Play with her hair. He'd still do all these things if sex wasn't involved. He still is doing them now, not expecting any kind of favors in return. He'd happily die hanging off her arm, getting every spec of love she allowed him.