Seep Into Me Slowly

[Chapter 03]

The following few days went exactly as her father dictated. She remained in her room always, never let out of the four walls in fear of someone seeing her state and connecting the morbid dots together. Her mother and sisters were the only people she had contact with. Nevertheless not for long, as settled, they only brought her trays of food and took them out occasionally with not much chatter.

Her father acted quickly, and told everyone she was down with the flu. So, it was best for everyone to lessen contact with her for the better and they never questioned his claims; especially since it was the winter season, so it perfectly aligned with his ulterior agenda.

Every meal brought in, only reminded her of the previous ones she couldn't muster the courage to eat. She couldn't bare to eat anything as she felt sick and disgusted with herself already. Food was only making it worse. She refused staggeringly to stuff her hungry stomach due to lack of appetite or desire. She lacked desire for everything.

She no longer looked for the rainy nights to run off under the sky carelessly. She no longer found gravitation towards her books. She didn't want to eat, drink, draw or do anything for that matter. It appeared as though life was sucked out of everything. Herself included. Especially herself. She and the world stood empty.

There, she laid in utter despair of watching what has become of her. She was in prison. A prisoner not only to her room but also her mind. Enslaved to her emotions that pressed her over to the edge. Daring her to take that courageous step and throw herself off the edge of life. She dreamt of death, or was it serenity? She couldn't differentiate; all she longed for was for the pain to stop, for it to disappear, to dissipate.

Only, everyone and everything left and only pain had remained. Ironic, wasn't it? The only thing you wish to part from, is the only thing that sticks through. What would she make of a life that is doomed as her? Nothing. She didn't ask for happiness, only a little less pain.

Her intrusive thoughts were cut off by the knock at her door. She stiffened automatically and wondered who might that be? What did they want anyway? She memorized the times in which she would receive her trays of food, and this wasn't it. It startled her and put her nerves on edge. Her safe room no longer felt safe as to seeing it was only a wooden door that kept her tucked in away safely from the outer brutal world. He could've easily have found her, she thought. His blue flashy eyes flashing in her head, making her dizzy. The same blue eyes she pleaded with, begged to see mercy from. The same blue eyes, icily frozen, that denied her.

Before she could venture into her panic attack further, the door opened revealing her sister Liliana. She was at the ripe age of twenty, only two years younger than Tatiana. The girls shared lots of outer features. Both having velvety black hair, fair skin complexion and reached about the same hight. Nonetheless, while Liliana had green forest eyes -inherited from her mother- Tatiana had black orbits just like her father.

"Hey, it's me" Says Liliana as she enters slowly, happy to finally see her sister properly. She kept her distance, not wanting to catch the said disease her father warned them about, standing near the door.

Tatiana looked up at her sister in complete disdain, wondering what was she doing here. She shouldn't be here. No one should. She was doomed to be left alone for all eternity. Tatiana couldn't find it in her shook figure but to offer a simple nod in greeting.

"I know you're probably wondering what I'm doing here. Father has asked to talk to you, said meet him downstairs in the living room" Liliana reiterated in a leveled tone, delivering her father's message to her sister.

"It's not my place to ask, but, is everything alright, Tatiana?" Liliana couldn't resist the sisterly urge to check in on her sister, to make sure nothing was wrong. She was suspicious of something other than what her father had said was going on, albeit she kept her suspicions to herself, knowing she'll get yelled at if she thought about voicing her concerns.

"Mhm, everything's ok. I'll go see father now" Said Tatiana tiredly in a small voice, causing her little sister to only nod in understanding and exiting the room, retreating back to her own. She took a deep breath to gather in her thoughts and emotions before she went ahead and did something stupid like revealing her torment hell to her stone-hearted father.

She stalked the stairs like several nights before. Shaky and adrenaline shooting through the roof from fear and anticipation. She feared what she might hear. What would her punishment be? Withstanding the fact that she knew she wasn't the person accountable for responsibility. It was a certain blue eyed, dirty blonde haired ex-boyfriend whom caused her little world to crumble apart after one fateful night.

She was the one locked up like an animal as if she did something wrong, when all along it should've been him. She deserved to roam the outer world free of any dangers while he rotted alone in a cell. Unluckily, the roles were reversed just because she was a woman and he was a man. It meant, his word was over hers. It meant she would get questioned about her clothes, her makeup, her mannerisms that frightful night. All in order to find a way to justify his horrendous actions by blaming her. The victim. Suggesting she 'asked for it' absurdly.

"You might want to take a seat" The thunderous voice of her father commanded as she did silently so. Her gut twisted anxiously, anticipation running high in her veins for the words her father was next to spit out.