Seep Into Me Slowly

[Chapter 11]

At first glance upon entering, she couldn't deny the butterflies swarming her stomach at the sight. The room was heavily decorated with brown wooden furniture, affirming this vintage look. She gaped at the shelves full of abundance of books from all kinds of sizes and genres, inducing the room in their magical presence. She noticed the old rugs that covered the floors, in sync with the blinds that prevented sunlight from penetrating through the windows. All in all, it looked straight out of a Pinterest board or a late 1800s -early 1900s- dark academia theme.

She didn't pick Silas to be the nerdy, reading type. Again, she hadn't known the man for two days and she already had an image about him drawn in her head. Noticing the huge jumper and his subtle jeans, plus the thick book that laid down facing the study table, looking have had been opened to read but left presumably in a haste; she concluded that there may have been signs she overlooked, or consciously didn't want to look at because of this said image she'd already conjured up.

"Do you want to take a seat there?" He asked, pulling her out of her cliff-sided trance, pointing towards what resembled a loveseat on a windowsill, or what is commonly known as window loveseat. Her mind ran excited imagining all the late nights she could lay there reading books, tucked away from the world. She would get insomniac after a nightmare, and would wander away until she reached the kitchen, making a quick cup of tea or hot chocolate. Then, she'd get settled here, nestled in with a warm fuzzy blanket and the great company of a book. She sighed remembering this wasn't hers, she shan't run around comfortably, forgetting the fact it wasn't hers to get carried away and act like it.

Once they settled in, they kept that spec of distance between them, she started to feel less on edge near him, having Silas not tried to do anything she deemed inappropriate, yet. She slowly started to reimagine him in her head, like a lego game; discarding the pieces she had got wrong and started to pick other pieces she hadn't thought of before, but might surprise her to discover they actually fit. "I'd like to talk about this whole situation, if you'd like?" Silas prompted air quoting the word 'situation', because theirs wasn't a usual one for sure. She nodded and forcebly swallowed down the biles in her throat at what came next.

"I know this thing we got thrown into wasn't neither of what we had wanted or asked for" He starts and she nodded agreeingly, knowing the fault fell on neither of them, they just happened to be there when the universe decided to fool around and play a sick joke. "I'm assuming you also feel like this. I'm sure you meant to marry my brother, not me. He's still MIA for the last I heard, but when he comes back I think you'd both want to be together. You'd want to be with Ace, not me" The words drove a hidden knife to twist and pull at her chest achingly. Hot tears came out in thunderous waves, streaming down her cheeks at the remembrance. She couldn't believe after she evaded that sick filth of a person, she was expected to return back to him like nothing happened. Because something did happen. It didn't just happen once. It happens every time she takes a breath. The vivid memories from that fateful night crashing through her mind.

"I-I'm sorry, did I offend you in any way?" Silas asked clueless to her situation. She continued to pour tears down grisly, whimpering when she pulled her knees to her face "You're just like him" She kept whispering in a little incoherent voice, haunted by her worst demon. She sobbed endlessly, the waterworks not planning to stop anytime soon, he didn't know how to react. How to make things better? He can't withdraw his words back now, can he? An apology seemed a little insufficient and unsuitable for this situation entirely. The first thing that shot through his mind, was to sooth her. To bring her to him, offering a safe shoulder to cry on. He darted out his hand to catch her when she flinched back in fear, sobbing more and more. He cursed his mind, she didn't like being touched. What was he thinking anyway? How could this make anything better?

He felt the start of a headache at his forehead and winced slightly. He then got off and kneeled in front of her, keeping a safe distance between them. He tapped her foot lightly to get her attention "Hey, Tati, calm down. Let's take deep breaths like we did last time" He starts and she just stared at him. Seeing she hadn't recoiled from him, considering this progress, he continued on "Just like last time, one..two...three" He kept repeating until she finally calmed down. She looked at him in black doe eyes brimming with fresh tears. He stared back lovingly, granting her a small smile. "What happened?" He asked. She knew what he meant, he's not asking about right now. He's asking what caused her to become like this. Could she tell him? Could she trust him enough to tell him?

"I-I don't want to talk about it" She said in a gravelly tone. He nodded in understanding. Not everything was easy to share, especially with strangers you haven't known for more than two days. She hiccuped and clutched herself tighter. He noticed the action and went over to the sofa, carrying a blanket over to her. He covered her with it, making sure he never touched her and she looked up at him innocently. "Stay here, I'll make you a cup of hot chocolate?" He asked to which she nodded and stared off into the distance through the windows.

Despite the generated heat the house swirled with, the outer world resembled nothing alike. Outside, the rain was falling although not heavily but steadily nonetheless, making pit-and-patter noises against the window. The sky was cloudy, a neutral grey ornamented the cloudy horizon. The streets lacked of people, the latter preferring to stay inside and shelter from this maddening weather. Just like her. There was something strangely serene about the notion. She longed to run outside under the appeasing rain, like every romantic movie ever made. Maybe someday, but not today.

Moments later, Silas returned with two steamy cups of hot chocolate, the aroma spreading quickly into the room, reaching her nostrils. He advanced slowly towards her "Careful, it's hot" He warned her and she accepted the liquid with proceeded caution. She noticed him about to turn and leave with his own cup when her voice shot out all of a sudden "Stay" She spoke wondrously. He furrowed his eyebrows at her, one minute she was asking for space, the next she was demanding that he stayed. It's safe to say, she pushed his buttons alright, gotten him questioning his own self and actions. Girl logic, he snorted mentally.

Taking a seat near her, not quite touching as usual, he settled in and took slow sips while they both admired the outside world. They both held curious gazes, continuing to watch silently the rain descending drop by drop, side by side.