𝕒 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕝𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤 from the pov of Marlena (most of the time, but the other pov's are about her). Marlena is the muse behind the band, mentioned in their album "Il ballo...
I don't know why I keep reading all this. Paparazzi, newspapers and magazines really are the worst. Acting as they know them, i miei amici. Such people act like they're the band's best friends.
I have cut out every article I've seen of them and glued all the headlines on a huge piece of cardboard, from the box I've kept where my refrigerator came in. As you know, I haven't been outside since, well, it seems forever. Grazie Dio at home delivery exists. I just let the mailmen ring at the door or even better, I let them put smaller things in my mailbox. Another smart way for me to avoid human contact.
I've got a subscription to every newspaper and magazine in which my friends possibly can be featured in. You're probably thinking that I just could watch television or read articles on the internet. But I like to have something touchable, to have something in my hands that goes further than my sight. I like to stroke the paragraphs with the exact words that came out of their mouths (I'll never know that for sure, but let's pretend), I like to smell the freshly printed paper their faces are immortalized on. I know this sounds silly, but this pastime makes my days more bearable, my collection of cut out, colored paper puts a smile on my face.
So I paste these headlines and pretty pictures with glitter glue and brightly colored washi tape on the cardboard. I am satisfied with the result of my pointless hobby. Fans of the band would be so proud of this 'thing' and take it to their concerts where they'll scream their names and cry a little when they get on stage.
Well, I cried and screamed for them too once upon a time. Maybe they'd recognize the sound of my voice.
But I don't like calling myself 'a fan'. Not only because I can't bear to hear him singing, but because it's more of an obsession feeding all my problems, but mostly that I'll never get over my Dami as long as I keep doing this to myself. Maybe that's the point.
These are some of my favorite headlines I've kept of him:
𝕯𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔 𝖉𝖊𝖎 𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖐𝖎𝖓, 𝖚𝖓 𝖇𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖔 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖛𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊: 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖟𝖔 𝖆 𝖑𝖚𝖈𝖎 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖊 𝖆𝖎 𝖋𝖆𝖓 (Damiano of Måneskin, a provocative ballet: a red light joke to the fans)
𝓓𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓸 𝓓𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓭, 𝓼𝓮𝔁 𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓫𝓸𝓵 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓲𝓵 𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓸: 𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓮 𝓪 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲 (Damiano David, sex symbol as a grandfather: you can hardly tell them apart)
The last one was in the interview with Nikkie De Jager where she did Damiano's make-up while asking some questions. He sounded so pure there, for example when he talked about his cats' name with a big smile on his face. This was more like the Damiano I once knew, a sweet and honest guy. He always has been energetic and spoke his mind, striving for his dream of becoming a star, but without setting up a facade or putting a mask on. I always look at the pictures of his face when he was on stage. I can see it's an act, he isn't as cool as he pretends to be because I refuse to think he has changed completely. With me, he used to be soft and kind, not the kind of guy I'd see screaming "motherfuckers" on stage in every sentence he says.
They all seem to have changed actually, it was kinda shocking when I saw pictures of Victoria on stage with a bare chest, only covering her nipples with black tape. I still see her as the girl who I used to cuddle and stroke her hair when she had an anxiety attack before their performance and then she squished her dog to death after the gig, to exchange her stress hormones for happy ones. And now they have to play for an enormous audience, I wonder how she copes with that, I hope they care for her the way I used to do. I knew their secrets, their insecurities before their audience did.
Ethan always seems so nervous in interviews, he's scared to talk because I know he's scared to say something wrong, he just wants to fit in. And Thomas is not the same way he's in public than in his private life, because he's scared for showing who he really is. Scared for people to judge him. And my Dami always used to be a guy who couldn't be alone. But I can not think about that too much because that either means he misses me or else he's with somebody else. I just hope they support each other, cover themselves from the backlash they get for showing who they are despite all the people honoring them. They all have weak spots and they sometimes talk about them, loud and proud, no shame.
But you fans, you'll never know how it's backstage when the curtain drops. I used to be there you know, I was the glue that kept them together when they needed each other the most. Once they had found me, la loro Marlena, they learned how to switch between working as a strong whole and being the beautiful individuals they are, without losing themselves. I was la loro musa, watching over them while they were developing their masterpieces.
But now I am gone I don't know how they do it keep their sanity. I certainly have lost mine without them. Maybe when I ran away I took a piece of them and that's why they've changed.
Are they missing me? What would happen if I came back to them: my home.
La mia casa non è un luogo ma è le persone (My home is not a place, it's people).
