Robyn

~Chapter 17~

There's no better feeling than seeing the rich, brown soil that was hidden by the cold grayness of winter. For the first time in months, I can see the ground again, and while there are not any buds on trees or sprouting flowers yet, the scene is just as hopeful. The weather isn't quite warm, but it has reached that point where it's right on the cusp for people to begin wearing sweaters instead of coats.

"How's your mom doing?"

Ryland flicks his wrist, letting a stone glide across the stream. Turning to me he shrugs. "She's good. You know as good as someone in her condition can be."

His mom's cancer has been getting progressively worse, and although she is a strong woman she can't help the pain she is in. Ryland says sometimes he can hear her groans at night when he's asleep in the other room. Granted he does try to console her and many nights he spends by her bedside, but no amount of comfort or painkillers can ease her pain. I know it really hurts him to see her like that, and while he continues to wear a smile on his face with others, deep down inside he's not nearly as happy.

"You've been staying at her house this week, right?" 

His eyebrow shoots up and he gives a weak smile. "That noticeable, eh?"

There's a pain behind his brown eyes that catches me off guard. I stare into his umber irises unsure of how to respond. He leans back, his hands supporting him. Hesitantly, I move my palm to rest against the back of his hand, still aware of the tension between us, and let my head rest on his shoulder. I feel his lips press against the top of my head, and a shiver runs through my back.

His pulse is fast but it slows down within seconds as he grows accustomed to our proximity. "Thank you."

The sound of his hushed voice floats in the air. "For what?" I ask.

"Being here."

If only he knew. There's so many reasons why I shouldn't be here. Yet I can't leave Ryland. I could say it's because he needs me, but I know he has many friends who care about him who would be willing to listen to him. Really I need him, and for someone who constantly risks going to jail, this feeling rivals that scary reality.

Since my dad passed, I've done my best to not grow dependent on many people. The pain of losing someone can be the most excruciating thing in the world. It eats at your heart and hope and there's nothing worse than feeling likes there's no hope. Yet every moment I spend with Ryland, we grow closer and it becomes more apparent the inevitable pain I will suffer if I lose him.

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"Robyn, you're finally back!"

Closing the door behind me, I look up to see Jun scrambling toward me. Her black hair is tied up in a ponytail that bounces behind her as she strides my way.

"You saw Nacy's mystery man. Is he cute?"

Nacy shakes her head as she walks into the kitchen, causing me to laugh. She's always bad at trying to hide her embarrassment; he cheeks always expose her.

"Trust me, you won't disappointed."

Jun widens her eyes in excitement. Turning to Nacy, she furrows her eyebrows. "Are you sure you don't want us to at least dress up then?"

"He's not that type," Nacy replies as she bends over to open the stove. She gently grasps the pan of meatloaf with her cooking glove, and sets the pan down on the kitchen counter.

Brielle walks out from the kitchen, munching on an apple, and plops on the sofa. "Good. I like him already."

"When is he getting here?" I ask, pushing Brielle's feet off the couch. She looks at me and sticks out her tongue.