Fervent

Chapter 8 { play pretend }

 { staying in my play pretend, where the fun ain't got no end. Can't go home alone again, need soemone to numb the pain. }

There was a weird tension in the car when my mom drove to school on Monday. She was going to pick up my brother afterschool today, and although she gritted her teeth and nodded her head when I asked anything, she looked as nervous as me. Maybe I was wrong, maybe she did have emotions after all.

Meanwhile, I was still hoping Buzz wasn’t too angry at me for Saturday, and I also hoped that Jamie didn’t tell Charlotte about our day. He had stayed until 6pm, we ate take away together and I almost thought about just kissing him at one point. But I didn’t.

She parked in the same space she always parked at, and we both got out at the same time with the same worried luck.

“Don’t be late,” She said, and I nodded in response, taking a deep breath and thinking about the big brother I never had.

We both walked our separate ways then, she entered through the staff entrance and I walked around to the main entrance. I was the only student to do so, because the other students that didn’t stay overnight didn’t bother getting up so early.

I walked straight to the club, because I had no-where else to go. I was earlier today than I normally was, because my mom had been on edge since she’d woke me up at six. Two hours last night. I didn’t even know why I hadn’t slept, I’d had a great day.

Charlotte looked at me as soon as I walked in the room, she knew what was happening today. “Are you okay?” She asked, stepping forwards and offering a hug. I took it, leaning my head on her shoulder.

“I’m great. It’s going to be fine,” I sighed loudly, hoping I was right.

“Of course it will, and if it doesn’t then I can always kidnap him and keep him in my basement,” She said, and I laughed because I knew when I had showed her pictures of my brother she had smiled cheekily.

“What’s this?” Max walked up to us in his skinny jeans and plain white top, grinning at Charlotte. I didn’t know what was going on between them but I vowed to find out tomorrow.

Charlotte looked at me for confirmation that she could speak, and I smiled a little. “Her brothers staying at hers for a while,” Charlotte told Max with a glint in her eye.

Jamie joined the conversation from a chair a few metres away from us, “I don’t mean to be rude, but why is that a big deal?” And I knew what he meant, I think. It’s only a brother, right?

Charlotte looked at me again but this time it was me that spoke, “He left when I was six.” I said it bluntly, then looked down and realised that the last time he saw me was when I was a little brat.

“Why did he leave?” Jamie asked, genuinely looking concerned. I shuffled uncomfortably, speechless because I had been asking that same question.

“Alright, that’s enough, piss off,” Charlotte stepped up to the mark and turned her back on Jamie, blocking him from the conversation. I didn’t see his reaction, but I didn’t want to.

“Good luck,” Fai said delicately and I looked at her with appreciation.

“Yeah, good luck,” Morris added, giving me a cheeky grin.

“What they said,” Carly’s mouth curved into a smile, but soon returned to her conversation about shoes with Morris. Fai smiled as Carly approved of her doc Martin’s.

“Calm down,” Charlotte laughed, and I only just noticed I had been swaying on the spot. “You’ll be fine,”

I nodded, I would be fine. What’s the worst that could happen?