Cursed

࿏ Chapter Nineteen ࿏

Hayden

"My mom and dad would always yell at each other. Just like all parents do. But what made my parent's fights different was that after he stopped yelling, my dad would hit my mom. She would go run and hide, then he would turn to me."

"I thought I needed to take his abuse. That I was protecting my mom or in some weird way I would become more of a man by taking his beatings. The more my dad hit us the less my mom would take care of me. I started learning how to cook for myself because my mom wouldn't stop crying for the ten minutes it would take to cook a box of easy mac and cheese. She stopped asking me about school. She stopped going to work. To me she stopped giving a shit about life altogether. All she seemed to care about was figuring out how to make my dad love her again. "

"Nothing would ever work, no matter how hard she tried. And she tried everything Rory. Unspeakable and fucked up shit. They couldn't care less about me. So when I started doing drugs no one even noticed. I would go to school the entirety my freshman year fucked up on drugs or alcohol or whatever I could get my hands on. I was passing out by the second period almost every day. Every time I was sent to the principal's office, my dad would come pick me up and bring me home. Then he would beat me and afterwards give me a lecture about how I need to get better at hiding shit so he didn't have to come get me every time I was high."

I pause my story and look at Rory's dirty blonde hair curled around my finger. I wonder how she's taking all of this? Could she possibly still love me even with all my flaws? My questions are answered when she sits up, puts my face in her hands and kisses me on my forehead.

"Hayden, it's awful of your family to treat you that way. It must've been so scary for you to grow up with that kind of abuse. I wish I could take away all of your pain and suffering."

"You already have helped me so much. Just being around you has made me feel like a new man."

"You've changed me for the better as well and for that I'm so grateful. Before I met you I was just a timid little girl. I let my parents control my future without a second thought about my own wants for myself. When you took me out on that motorcycle ride, I have never felt more alive. I've been kept from making my own choices. Everything I've done so far with my life has been dictated to me by my parents. I thought it meant that they loved me. But now I see that I've been missing out on an important part of life. I know they would be mortified if they ever saw us together, but I don't care. Hayden, I love you."

Watching the realization dawn on her face makes me proud. She's finally breaking free of the bonds of her past. Listening to Rory talk about how I've helped her grow is making me fall even more in love with her. I used to think that anyone I got close to was going to destroy me. So I never let anyone skim more than the surface value of my life. Or on the occasion that I did let a woman in too deep, I would immediately find ways to fuck it up and scare her off.

I never thought sharing this part of myself with Rory would feel so good, but it does. Now that I've started telling her parts of the truth, I can slowly chip away at everything I've worked so hard to conceal about my life. I know she's definitely not ready to hear about my drug use from the other night and there's no way I will risk telling her and then having her leave me. It feels too good to be seen by her. To be loved by her.

"Come here babe."

I pull her in close. We fall back on the bed kissing. When I kiss her all of the pain and noise in my head goes away.

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A week goes by of Rory sleeping over at my place almost every night. She's even brought a tiny pink suitcase so that she doesn't have to keep wearing the same clothes. She insists on keeping a few of my tee big shirts to sleep in at night. I can't say that I mind.