Pride Isn't a Sin

Chapter 9

 Sunday. The best day of the week, and soon to be either the worst or best day of my life. I sit in the aisle, listening to Father John pray as I follow along. Adding my own prayers for good luck in the end. I convinced Jasp and his family, even Chloe, to come here for today.

I had already talked to Father John and he fully supports me in my plan despite having no idea what I'm about to tell everybody.

Jasp sits at the opposite side of the room, mostly from my own fears of Mom finding out he's the homosexual I've been hanging out with. Either way though, she's about to find out today.

I wear my usual church clothes, but under my sleeve lies a rainbow bracelet. A bracelet Jasp got me a few days ago. I haven't taken it off since.

"And now I would like to offer Chris up here, come on up!" Father John wears his usual happy smile, his wrinkles going up with a mixture of happiness and worry. Worry for what I'm about to say, and how Mom will react.

I notice Jasp look up with wonder, his cute freckles shining under the bright light. His blue eyes bright, his curls the curliest in the room. Gorgeous.

Although before I'd probably slap myself for saying such a thing, I've now accepted it. I'm gay. I'm gay and I'm the happiest I've ever been!

"Good- Good morning everyone!" I say with the best smile I can muster. "You all see me every Sunday, or every time you come to see Mom. But, there's something you don't know. Well, a lot of you don't know. And that's what I want to share with you!" I take a shaky breath, considering to chicken out.

I don't though.

I can't.

Even if Mom's glare rests on me angrily.

"I wasn't a good person. Not at all. I was rude, homophobic, and close minded." I trace the designs on the table, flowers and doves and ribbons. "But then I made friends. And they opened my eyes. I- I still have a lot of room for growth but I've learned a lot. God isn't close minded, he doesn't care about your race, gender, or sexuality. He cares about how you treat others. I didn't have friends before, or someone to turn to when I was scared. Now I have plenty of those people. Chloe, Zoey, Father John. And then there's someone else. The person I fell in love with."

My mom looks at me, her brows furrowed, her jaw clenched, and fear begins to take hold of me. I can't give up now though.

Jasper looks curious, hope in his eyes. Hope for something I don't know, but I pray it's for what I'm about to say.

"I'm in love with Jasper. A guy. And before you say something, Mom, I don't care. Why? Because God doesn't care, despite what you say. God loves all his children, that's why he made them the way they are. I see that now, no thanks to you. Mom, you are manipulative and hurtful. I fear you, I fear the hate I know you have for me. I fear my future. But I've learned, and now I am certain that God loves me. That I don't have to fear I'm sinning. So, yeah. That's all." My brows furrow with determination as I look down at Mom.

Everyone looks at me, silent. But it doesn't take long for them to applaud. To yell "Amen!" Father John puts a hand on my shoulder, giving me a warm smile. One of which I give back to him. I notice Chloe and Zoey stay seated, waving happily. And I wave back to my friends. Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd smiles as they mouth "Amen."

Jasper stands up, running to me and grabbing me in a tight hug. He puts his forehead to mine, "I love you too!" He says excitedly.

I wrap my hands around his neck, "I'm glad. Sorry."

"For what?"

"For being so rude to you when we met. But I promise I've changed!"

"I know," He says. "Would it be too fast to ask for a kiss?" He wears a worried expression, like he's scared for my reply.