Pride Isn't a Sin

Chapter 3

Sunday, the best day of the week. I button my white shirt, my khakis already on as I trot down the stairs to leave. Mom and Dad are already waiting in the car as I shut the door behind me.

It's mostly quiet as we drive, the only sound being the radio at a low volume. I can't stop thinking about Jasper though, about what I said to him. Was it a sin? Was it fine? I'll have to ask the priest.

"Amen!" Our priest says through the microphone, as the piano fades. Everyone sits down, but it takes me a few more beats causing a glare from Mom. My shoes squeak loudly, causing a blush to form on my face.

My eyes won't stop wandering around though, trying to find Jasper. It may just be the large crowd, but I don't think he goes here.

My mom shoves me as I snap back to reality. "What the Hell is wrong with you? Focus boy!" She hisses as I realize we're about to pray.

I fold my hands over my lap, whispering the same words the priest says. Adding my own words to the mix, "Guide me, please. What's right? What's wrong? Give me a sign, please."

After they finish everything, I turn to my mom. "Can I go talk to Father John? Please."

"Whatever for?"

"I have a question for him."

"Make it quick," She says, sounding bored of me. Quickly though, her smile is back as she turns to Mrs. Clark to start a conversation. Dad joins them.

"Father John?" I say, catching up to him.

"Ah, Christopher! Good to see you! Um, where's your mother?" He seems happy to see me, but slightly ticked off when he mentions my mother.

"Talking to Mrs. Clark. Um- I had a question." Nerves begin to take over, as I question everything. I shouldn't be though, I was in the right!

He must notice my sudden jumpiness, as he pulls me into the confession room. As I walk in I notice Mom's gaze on my own. "What seems to be the problem?" He says with a worried expression.

"I- I don't know. I was talking to this homosexual and he keeps trying to turn my view, to act like it's okay to be - to be gay. And I don't know if I'm in the wrong but I," Tears threaten my eyes. I should not be doing this, I'm right! "I told him he and all the other devils like him should die. I don't know if I'm in the wrong. I mean, isn't homosexuality wrong? But every time I think about it I feel like I sinned, not him." I can't look him in the eye, why can't I?

"Chris," He starts, "Your mother is pushing her views on you. I know you mean well, you're just reacting to what you were taught but being gay isn't a bad thing. It isn't a sin. I'll be honest, you sinned;. But you're a good kid, you feel bad about it. I'm glad you told me, now you just need to apologize to the Lord and even this boy."

"But Mom said-"

"You're mother is wrong. God wants equality for all, he created mankind equal. He doesn't care who you're attracted to. Please Chris, see that. Learn to see that and stop listening to your mother. There isn't anything wrong with any gender, sexuality, anything."

I feel like my world is tearing around me. But Mom said! The bible says! But does it say that? Does it explicitly say homosexuality is wrong? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe Jasper is just a sweet guy who happens to be gay. I tear slips out, then another, and another. "But Father John, what do I do? I don't know what to do. Mom's always right, isn't she?"

He grabs me, pulling me close. "I know I can't change all your ways, but I hope to help you get better. Apologize to that boy, pray every night about how sorry you are. Befriend him and learn from him. There will be plenty of bad people, but their sexuality doesn't determine that."

"I'm ready," I tell my mom as I wipe away the last of the tears.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing. Just had a question."