Loud Silence. (on hold)

Chapter 1 : You are the only page in my book

Chapter 1

Bright rays of sunlight glistened on my face, compelling me to open my eyes. I lifted the curtain of my thick eyelashes; the light came piercing into my eyes and so did reality. Sleep had subdued my rage and pain. I wished I could close my eyes again and fall into abysmal realms of dreams, deflecting reality. Dreams may be scary and cadaverous, but not more than reality.

Reluctantly, I mounted from my bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. Jake and I used to share a bathroom, and we always fought. I looked at his red brush; a wry smile crossing my mouth.

When we were kids, in one of those fights, things got heated and he picked up my brush and threw it down the pot. It got stuck there and wouldn’t flush. We tried to hide it from mom but somehow she found out something was wrong. When she peeked at the pot…..the expression that crossed her face....we couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

I picked up his brush, and walked over to the pot and dumped it, hoping he would smile from wherever he was. A tear escaped my eyes, Jake was the only page in my book; I did not know what to do if someone tore it out.

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After taking a quick shower and putting on the first thing that caught my hand, I walked into the kitchen, to find a note stuck on refrigerator.

Honey, had to go early. Take breakfast.

     -         Dad

Mom had gone to Seattle to visit my aunt. After Jake’s death, mom was in a complete state of turmoil. When I was taken under custody, things only got worse. My dad thought it would be better if she left home for a while. However, dad himself has been running away from reality. He leaves early, comes home late and goes straight to bed, saying he has already eaten at the restaurant. I know it’s not true, but I don’t say anything.

Picking up the box of cornflakes, I stared at the empty bowl, somewhere down I felt empty myself. I kept it back, found my keys, grabbed my ipod and my folder and headed out to face the scary reality.

As I reached outside, I couldn’t help but glance at my brother’s car. We went to the same school but did not travel together. Our lives were different; No our lives were contrasting. He had so many friends that he could lose track, I had ….only one and yet I lost track.

I remember his first day as a freshman at school. I was the one driving us both. We got out of the car and he walked confidently in the opposite direction once I told him good luck. At lunch I was excited that I would finally have someone to sit with so I went to the cafeteria rather than sitting under my tree. But when I treaded in there, he was already surrounded by a group of pretty looking, popular girls and some cocky guys. He didn’t even stand out. I smiled and backed up, returning to my spot. Later that day, he texted me saying that he already had a ride, and would come home and talk later. As soon as he reached home, he began blabbering about the day’s events, his new friends, this cute girl he met…..everything. I beamed at his smile. We were just different and we accepted it.

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I stepped outside my car hesitantly, walking to homeroom. Every eye was aimed at me as I passed by. Some whispered and murmured at the look of me, others glared. My legs began to shake. I clasped my folders harder, digging my face into them.

“She is the killer” someone shouted.

“Is she Jake’s sister? Wow! What an innocent face for a butcher?” came another chorus.

My feet began to ache; my whole body quivering .I halted pressing my lips together and shutting my eyes, restricting myself from crying.

I could not give up…No! Jake would be disappointed…..I was just a piece of drama, a source of entertainment for them. I could not give them pleasure, I fostered myself.

I started to somehow advance forward, when a hand caught mine. I let out a gasp as thin fingers dug tapering nails into the insides of my arm.

“Where do you think you are going?” Lexi Jackson’s screeching voice pierced through my ears. I fell back on the ground when she pushed and let go of me suddenly. A crowd of bystanders started to gather.

I looked up at her nervously.

“How could you be such a witch? My boyfriend damn loved you so much for a piece of crap you are ….How could you just kill him! Everyone is scared of you…But if you think I would leave you…… Then you’re sooo f**king wrong bitch “

My heart started to ache, pumping furiously.

“Lexi…I …It’s not .wh..at you… think” I stammered, as I reached for her trying to elucidate myself.

She caught my hand midway and twisted it slightly and then…she slapped me.

No one has ever hit me in my entire life, not even my parents. Tears erupted from my eyes, falling straight on the stoned floor, wetting it. I could feel my cheeks burning with pain and redness creeping its way... Once again my silence had engulfed me, making me look guilty, feeble, flaccid and breakable. If only someone knew how much I adored my brother….if only I could voice my feelings… Everyone gaped like an archetypal audience, some hooted, yet no one made a move, as the tears flooded my face. I searched through their eyes, hoping to convey my sorrow wordlessly.

That’s when I saw him. He was standing at the back, camouflaging in the crowd, but my gaze didn’t miss him; it could never miss him. He stared back right into my eyes, no sign of guilt or regret on his face, no sorrow, not even pain.

Fury rushed thought me making me abhor him more than ever. My mind started to revolve, and I ran. Leaving my belongings lying on the ground, wiping the tears off my eyes, I strode aimlessly, not knowing where I was headed, just away…away from this world.

Authors Note:

Okay guys.. So…..THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!!!!! (CAPS!!)

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Special thanks to  kewlbabe2020  and Kirbyx <3

Okay my back hurts ….so

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