I'm my own alpha

Chapter 54

My forgetful ass forgot my keys and I turn to go retrieve them. "I got it." Tomas stops me and I nod going to my car. My name is called and unwilling I turn back to it. "Get in Nadia," Tomas towers over me in my way. "I'll take you home."

I nod getting it, fighting Nia, she wants me to go back. She's begging me to go back and my body has sided with her, my subconscious however knows, and my heart knows better too.

Keeping my eyes on my shoes, I constantly have to remind myself not to fall part, not yet. The second I step back home my feet rush me to my dads office where he seems to be stuck in a book. His eyes find mine and I completely lose it.

I drop to my knees letting me sobs echo around the room, my father takes me into his arms but his attempts to sooth me only make me weep harder.

"Nadia?" The worry in Tili's voice rings in my ears. "Dad what's wrong?"

"Just, give her a second."

"Did something happen?" Bailey asks.

"She didn't-she never said much.." Tomas lies, the question was probably directed to him.

"Leave, everyone." My father doesn't have to repeat himself as feet start to distance themselves on their own. "Take your time," he hushed me as the dull ache in my chest beats in time with my heart.

With not appetite all I do is shed tears before I knock out. I spent my Monday in tears, no one knows how much I really cried, I don't even know how much I really cried.

I can't seem to escape the feeling, the pain my heart is constantly in, when I wake up for school my body won't move. My eyes are swollen shut and I let out a shaky breath. I don't want to attend today.

I haven't woken up by myself in so long it feels so strange, it feels strange to have a body to hug while I'm still stuck in my trance of sleep, to not be able to wake up and feel the safety of his breathing and his arm around me to keep me in place.

It's a routine I have to follow. I don't go to school for that week, hell I don't even do anything for that week, all my movements consist of bathroom breaks and showers. I wake up, miss him, cry about missing him, shower to cry more, continue to cry remember he cheated, get mad and pretend to scream at him before crying some more.

Cry myself to sleep, then restart. For five more days.

Malic came over, twice I believe, but was always stopped downstairs. I had to listen to him try to compromise with my father then Bailey about coming up to talk to me. He always called, and texted, and continued to call and text so much I had to stash my phone in my closet so I don't get tempted.

I can't keep this up any longer. I've avoided everything but today I decide to actually get up, put clothes on that don't belong to Malic, and make my way downstairs. The living room is occupied with my father and alpha Vincent, who both see me and stop talking.

I keep going and greet them before moving to the stairs exist. I take them up to the roof where it should be empty but instead I find my pack sitting close to the edge. Tomas is the first to look back before my sisters do the same. "Nadia."

"Pack meeting without your alpha?" I move in. "Should I take offence?" I haven't been the best alpha to them for this past week, the first thing I should have said was an apology.

"Come join us." Tomas shuffles a side and I side by him. "Dad just explained to us that we'll be transferring this September," Tili continues. Right, I was supposed to tell them that. "I was like we should hang around you guys but Tomas here is tell us to get some friends."

"You guys do need friends!" Tomas raises his argument making Bailey laugh. "I'm just saying! What if Nadia and I decide we don't want to take the year of college credits S.S.S provides, what then?"

"You're telling me you guys are going straight to uni?!"

"I'm telling you, you need friends!" He chuckles and Bailey laughs harder. I thought I would have to fake a smile for then, I thought it would be better to force it then be moody all the time but, I find myself smiling a genuine smile.

"We're not lonely you know, we can stay together." Bailey buts in.

"Yeah but this school's different, you have to stay with the same class for the whole year. I'm just saying, it should be easy enough." Tomas leans back on his hands.

"You're saying that like you have friends. His jaw drops at her comeback and I let out a chuckle. "You out here hanging around with us, where your friends huh?"

"You're an experienced loner." Tili tells him.

"More reason for you guys to take my advice."

"Whatever." Bailey rolls here eyes and I watch Tili laugh some more. "Take your own damn advice."

"Play nice Bailey," I warn her and she flashes me a smile. God I've missed them. Everything about this makes me forget everything about Malic, even if its for a short period of time, I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Hey," Tili speaks up. "Tomas is getting better at tennis, you know that?" Right, they went playing today. "He almost beat me!"

"I lost my balance, that's the only reason you won." Tomas turns to her.

"You tripped over your own to feet, who does that?!" They start going at it, picking at each other's flaws while they laugh and I listen. I believe it's better this way.

I don't however, miss the concerned looks that they all shoot at me when they believe I'm too occupied to notice. It's clear that their worried about me, but I'm going to pick myself up, it's time I do.