"My Yellow(18+)"

Chapter 8

TW: Mentions of bleeding, PTSD, mentions of d*ath, mentions of g*nshots,

(This chapter might be triggering to some people so I suggest taking your rest and move on to the next chapter, see you there!)
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The Green-eyed Man And Survival

"Oi, Deku!"

I turned my head to the right, seeing an old friend running to my direction. Ah..Him again, "Kacchan?"

The blonde grabbed my collar and pulled me close to him, his eyes burning in anger as he yelled out, "You damn idiot! Look at what you have done!"

What? What did I do?

"Kacchan, for the nth time, I don't know what I did-"

Kacchan tightly closed his fists and punched me in the face. what the hell is wrong with him?

I fell down and he placed his foot on my head, pushing me to the ground, "It's all your fucking fault!"

I grunted in response, "What do you mean, asshole?!" I tried to fight back but his foot is not budging at all. He might have sensed me trying to escape as I felt him forcing me down further and further, I could've sworn he made the ground crack by doing so, "Just tell me!"

"They all got killed because of you!" He answered as he kicked my pathetic body meters away from him. The same blonde then walked up to my own body instinctively trying to get up, and again, shoved me to the concrete floor, "Our comrades! Gone! And it's all because of you!"

I opened my eyes wide open, screamed, and brought my body up into a sitting position, breathing so roughly that my head began feeling numb.

Hell. I was having a dream.

A nightmare.

This is too much. I have been having too many nightmares. This one wasn't even the worst one I had, and yet, it still impacted me so badly.

"Damn you, Deku!"

No. Damn you, Katsuki. Ah-! It's not even my fault. It wasn't my fault they were so incompetent. I wasn't the one training the soldiers. I wasn't the one managing them. I wasn't the one shoving their faces in dirt.

But why do I feel guilt rapidly manifesting within me?

It wasn't my fault...Is it?

I was the one ordering them during the great war. I was the one they were following while infiltrating the area.

So, it was my fault...It was.

It wasn't though.

It was.

No it wasn't.

It was.

No it wasn't.

It was.

No it wasn't.

These two fight in the back of my head.

Why am I even bothered by it? It doesn't matter if it's my fault or not! I did everything I can to bring the opposing forces to surrender! I know I should've done more, but what I did before was all that I have managed.

I groaned, covering my eyes with both of my hands as I immediately heard a voice,

"Captain.."

His voice was husky, almost as if he's suffering. I removed my hands from my field of vision as I looked around, seeing nothing but my own belongings and furnitures.