A Broken Love

Chapter 10: What now?

"Time doesn't heal anything... it just teaches us to live with pain."

1 week after mark leaves for NY (Seattle)
"Meredith, you have to get out of bed," George whispers, laying next to her. Early morning sunlight trickles through the window of her room, clearly outlining the small flecks of dust. She doesn't respond and George feels her forehead.
"You aren't sick and we don't get personal days this year," Izzie says gently, rubbing her back.
"Leave me alone. I'm not going to work." She shakes them both off of her bed and turns away from the window. They leave the room and shut the door behind them before calling Derek.

"Meredith won't get out of bed," George announces in the speaker to the drowsy man on the line. Derek pushes his hair from his face and gets up immediately as the mention of her name sends a tingle through his spine.
"I'll be there soon." He sighs and hangs up.
Meanwhile, Meredith realizes the awful choice of turning into the bed. She takes a deep breath as the ghost of Marks hand brushes over her cheek, stained with tears.

"Good morning. How'd you sleep." He asks, tucking her golden hair behind her ear.
"Very well. What about you?" She asks as he moves closer.
"Did you know that when you aren't having a good dream, your nose scrunches? It's adorable and I couldn't help myself so I watched all night." He admits, making her smirk and blush.
"I don't do that." She says defensively, pushing her hand into the sheets and grabbing his.
"Hmm. Yes, you do. I told you, it's cute." He rests his lips on the back of her hand gently and lets them linger as the redness in her cheeks expands.
"You watched me sleep. You don't get to say that." She scrunches her nose condescendingly and begins to turn away. He grasps her chin between his fingers and sneers, his dirty smirk lighting mischievously in the rays.

"I'm in your bed. You don't get to turn away." He raises his eyes brows, asserting his dominance over her as she bats her eyes.
"How'd you know I wasn't having a bad dream?" She questions as he caresses her face and tangles their limbs.
"You mumble words in your sleep too." He adds letting his hand travel down to her waist. She widens her eyes and he shakes his head, already knowing what she was thinking.
"I didn't mean to listen and you weren't talking about him." He runs his nose down her neck and she shivers relieved that Derek wasn't in her dreams as he wasn't in her daydreams.
"What did I say?" She asks softly.
"Sounded like you were talking about your father." He says as his hand rests on her bare thigh.
"I miss him." She breathes steadily caressing his torso.
"I know." He nods.
She lets a puff of air escape her lips, hitting his. He smiles gently and pushes her hair back, letting it flow loosely behind her head. It was tranquil but he knew she felt uncomfortable.
"I love you" He whispers against her lips as her fingers run down the crease on his smooth, warm chest.  He smiled, knowing that she wasn't thinking of her father anymore.
"I love you too." She brushes their noses and he stifles a groan as she presses his chest before rubbing.

He was there. The sick son of a bitch was lying next to her, grinning. His beautiful yet mysterious gray eyes glistened in the light of the mid-morning and she hated it, hated the memories she had of him. He was everywhere, at home, at the hospital, in the on-call room. It made her stomach twist, not knowing where he was and if he was alright. How could she have trusted someone else? She swore she wouldn't. She scoffs, a small chuckle escaping her lips. She had sworn to celibacy but it hadn't lasted a week. Tears rolled down her face diagonally and into the pillow.

"Meredith?" It was his voice. More tears spilled from her irises as she flung the door open and threw herself into the arms of the man. He grasped her tightly, a quiet gasp escaping his lips. She immediately knew this wasn't him. This was Derek, wearing the light cologne scented like the ocean. Mark would have been taller and he would have lifted her. Her arms wrapped around his neck nonetheless, wanting to pretend it was him. His strong arms wrap her waist and he let her sob into his neck. She shouldn't have to be feeling this. He could be there for her. She was the love of his life, whether she accepted it or not. He would spend the nights pinning over her in bed and while at work, he would try to set up coincidental meets just to watch her. Still, she showed no interest in him. That was when Mark was in town. Would they be different now? George and Izzie nod before heading out the front door.