A Broken Love

Chapter 9: The Way Forward

"Love is when you're hurt but still missing the person who caused the pain."

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out. His lips scrunch uncomfortably seeing a voicemail from Mark. It is two minutes long and Derek's eyebrows raise. Grudgingly, he plays it.

"You don't look too happy." A woman says.
"I'm not." Mark sighs.
"You looked pretty upset on the plane too." She continues.
"I'm here for a drink, not a therapy session."
Sounds of ice and glass crackle through the phone.
"It's a girl, isn't it? What did she do?"
"I appreciate you trying to help but I need happiness or more scotch." He slurs.
"I can make you happy." She says, closer this time.
"No, I can't." He mumbles.
"Yes, you can."
"No, I have my girlfriend. She's back in Seattle."
"It didn't look like you left things well. How do you know she won't cheat on you?" She asks, practically as loud as his speech.
He is silent and they kiss.

The sounds of their lips crackle through the phone and Derek stops breathing. He watches as Meredith flips through her keys, unknowingly looking stunning. She finds it and walks in before shutting the door as Derek stops the voicemail, unable to listen longer. Looking down at his phone, he knows what he should do; what he is supposed to do- what he was asked to do. He understands that he has to delete the voicemail. Meredith asked him not to get involved in her life yet that is all he had done since. His thumb hovers over the red symbol of a trash can. His gasps are breathy and shallow but he groans softly before hitting the play button again.

"Stop it. I have a girlfriend." He slurs as the sound of a door shutting rings.
"Is she here?" The woman asks.
The sound of their kissing resumes.

He stops the voicemail again and shoves his phone into his pocket. His hands hit the wheel before gripping it tightly. Curses slip out of his mouth and tears run down his cheeks as he shakes his head. How could he stay silent about this? Even for Meredith, he didn't believe he could keep it secret. His head starts pounding with the pressure and he gets out of the car before unbuttoning the first few buttons of his dress shirt. He loosens the collar and concentrates on his breathing before stumbling up the stairs, barely keeping his balance. His hands land on the door gently and the noise echoes in his mind.

He turns around and walks to his car indecisively as she watches from her window. He glances up and their eyes lock in the moonlight. His expression changes and he runs his fingers through his hair tightly. Her golden hair shines, reflecting the light from inside. She has changed into her ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt that she looks so good in. He sighs softly and his eyes drift to her hands which are shoved in fuzzy dog pajama pants. She doesn't smile or wave goodbye and he simply stands on her driveway, watching her and letting himself be intoxicated by her beauty. She can't help but watch his expression of awe. She doesn't need any more confirmation that he loves her but he was married.

He was going to be a dad. She couldn't forgive him for lying to her anyway. Taking a sharp breath her hand grips the curtains, her fingers finding something to do instead of running down to him and letting herself be with him. He chuckles, the dazzling smile flashing across his face.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't want this?" He asks, pulling the chain from his pocket and holding it up. He chuckles nervously watching her laugh and push her hair back. She stops laughing too soon and looks at the chain. Derek was the perfect man. There was no doubt she loved him too but she shakes her head. He takes a sharp breath and nods.
"Good night." She says as he opens his door.
His head snaps up and he smirks before getting in his car and driving away.