chapter seventeen

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I had never travelled anywhere on my own. Before I had always been in the company of the circus, with my Grandfather my Aunt Lizzie or Benny and Lisa. So I was feeling more than a little nervous when Benny left me at the airport.

I tried not to panic or feel overwhelmed in the crowded airport, making sure I queued up at the right place to check in and get my luggage sorted out.

Having achieved this daunting task, I found myself sitting in the departure lounge and managed to get myself a cup of tea and a magazine, then sit by the large window watching the planes coming and going waiting for my flight to come in.

I sipped my tea and glanced through the magazine, trying to think about the fact I would be with my father soon and being able to spend more than a few hours with him. I was excited, but at the same time it was marred by the fact I still kept seeing Ricardo's disapproving face in my minds eye.

And instead of thinking about how I was looking forward to seeing my father, I found myself wondering what was going through his mind right now. He was probably still angry with me for having defied him. but he had left me with no other choice.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I found there was a small niggling guilt, because I had just taken myself off and I had totally disregarded him.

I didn't understand why? After all I had no reason to feel guilty, especially after the way he had treated me.

He should be the one feeling bad, not me I realised in frustration.

But I doubted he would; not over me anyway. In fact I wouldn't be in the least surprised if he was already finding solace with some other female, and not giving me a second thought.

So I decided it was better to try and push him out of my mind once and for all. He was not going to spoil this chance I had to spend time with my father.

I was glad when it was time to get on the plane, getting more excited now, this was going to be a whole new experience for me, and I could put aside all the trauma I had suffered these last few weeks

It was what I needed

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I couldn't believe how fast the first week flew in. But then it had been pretty none stop from the plane landed in England and my father collected me at the airport; taking me back to his home.

I discovered he was far more excited than I was, about me coming to stay with them for a while. Isabel was at home with the children whom I finally got to meet and realised with new significance, that I actually had a brother and sister now.

Both of them were fascinated with the fact I lived with the circus and for the first three days just fired questions at me about my life there

Then I had a chance to meet my Grandmother on my father's side, unfortunately my other Grandfather even before I was born. I had very vague memories if me visiting her when I was young.

My Grandmother Mary, who was in her late seventies, had recently suffered a stroke and was still recovering from it. She burst into tears when she finally got to meet me. She had felt sure she never would live to see the day when she would set eyes on me again.

It was all very emotional, and I was glad I had got the chance to see her again.

Then there were family outings. Going out for a meal, going to the cinema, as well as meeting my father and stepmothers friends.. There was so much to take in, I didn't have much time to think about anything else, which suited me fine.

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