In Sickness and In Health

Ch 5

A month later....

Ben already felt himself growing stronger and he even started lifting dumbbells to strengthen his arms outside of his physical therapy session. But true to what Dr.Linc had said his leg wasn't getting as strong as fast and it made him angry.

And haphazardly a lot of that anger ended up being projected onto Miranda. He hated that it felt like he couldn't control his emotions when she spoke to him, even if it was something simple.

It had even gotten to the point that Miranda wouldn't say anything if it wasn't necessary.

The other day Miranda just wanted to talk to him about how he was feeling and she suggested that he get counseling and he told her he didn't need counseling like she did.

The look of shock and pain that came across her face when he said it made him realize he did need the help.

Miranda came out of the bathroom in a short light pink night gown and she sat quietly on her side of the bed rubbing lotion into her arms and hands. Ben loved her anything Miranda wore but his favorite color on her was pink.

"You look very pretty," Ben complimented.

Miranda just nodded her as she continued to massage the lotion into her arms and hands. Ben quietly observed her actions and her facial expression was stern. Once she was done she got under the covers and Ben reached over and rubbed her thigh.

He hadn't made love to Miranda in over 8 months and he was craving that time with her. Miranda looked over her shoulder at Ben feeling him caress her thigh.

"I'm tired Ben and I'm not feeling well," Miranda said.

"Okay," Ben answered as he removed his hand from her thigh.

Ben woke up at 3am and looked over at Miranda's side of the bed. She wasn't there and he worried. He grabbed his crutches and walked out into the living room. It was dark and Miranda wasn't on the couch but he new she wasn't gone because her purse and keys were still on the table.

He went back down the hallway to their bedroom and realized that the guest bedroom door was cracked open. He pushed it open and walked inside to see his wife laying on top of the covers with her arms wrapped around the pillow asleep.

There were tissues on the bed and one still in her hand as if she had cried herself to sleep. In that moment Ben's heart broke, he was allowing his depression and anger about his situation to affect her and he hated himself for it.

Ben reached over and cleaned up the tissues and he used the one in her hand to wipe the tear that was still sitting on her eye.

Miranda was startled out of her sleep from the feeling of being touched. When she looked up she saw Ben standing over her with a sad look on his face. Miranda looked around and sat up.

"What's wrong Ben? Are you okay?" Miranda asked.

"Miranda you were crying," Ben stated sadly.

Miranda looked down trying not to burst into tears right then. Ben sat down beside her and lifted her chin to look at him.

"You were crying because of me weren't you? I made you cry," Ben said softly.

Miranda sniffed and tried to choke back her tears but she couldn't. Miranda began to sob and Ben pulled his wife close as best he could. He hated the reason she was in his arms but he missed holding her.

Miranda sat up and Ben wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry for how short and mean I've been with you. I've been so angry and feeling hopeless thinking about how long it will take for me to get my strength back and that I may never be able to be a firefighter again because my leg won't heal back to its former self, Ben explained.

Miranda was looking down at her lap again wiping her tears and Ben lifted her chin and cupped her face.

"And you didn't deserve any of how I was acting towards you. I'm so sorry Miranda," Ben apologized as he looked into her eyes.

Miranda smiled catching a tear on her lip. They hadn't kissed much at all and looking at her lips  he kissed the tear off her lip.

"Will you come back to bed with me please?" Ben pleaded softly.

"Okay," Miranda whispered.

Ben got up, grabbed his crutches and gestured for Miranda to go ahead of him.

When back in their bedroom the couple got in bed and Miranda laid down facing away from Ben and he slowly scooted over to her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he kissed the place behind her ear.

Miranda sighed and closed her eyes as she pushed her butt into him and tangled her leg around his and fell asleep.