Chapter 17

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~Present Day, May, 2010~

The next day Elle and I go back to work, pretending not a thing is wrong. Pretending I didn't break her heart with the truth, pretending we didn't spend the day yesterday coming up with strategies to stay safe.

Penelope called me, once. I didn't answer. Her voicemail said she was just checking in, wanting to see if I was alright. Elle insisted I at least text her back, telling her we were okay.

The team is worried, I can tell. I know they suspect Elle and I are going through something. They just have no idea what. But when we walk into the bullpen Tuesday morning, fingers intertwined and our bodies closer than before, I immediately notice some tension relax in the room.

Morgan gets up to meet us. "C, you feeling alright? Elle said you were sick."

I force a smile, my hand squeezing Elle's. "I'm okay now. Stomach bug, I think."

Lies. More lies.

I turn away before Morgan can recognize the pain in my eyes. "Coffee?" I say to Elle. She nods and gives me a kiss on the cheek before letting go of my hand.

I clench and unclench my tingling fingers, already missing the curve of her palm fitting into mine. JJ's at the back counter, getting herself some caffeine. I give her a tight smile that she returns with a soft one of her own.

"Feeling better?" she asks lightly.

"Yeah," I respond. I focus on my hands, the buttons of the machine.

JJ's hand finds my shoulder and a fresh wave of guilt hits me. She cares. They all do. And this, this thing I'm hiding from them—it's dangerous for them, too. And JJ, she's not by herself anymore. She has Will to worry about, and Henry. Who am I to prioritize Elle's safety over theirs?

"Something wrong?" JJ asks, her voice lowered.

I shake away the sensation. "Nope, all good here."

She raises an eyebrow as if to say yeah right, but just shakes her head. "Whatever you say, C."

She walks away and I follow a moment later, bringing Elle her coffee: dark roast, two creams, not enough sugar and a dash of chocolate syrup.

She gives me a warm smile when she takes it from my hand, and the one I return is real. Her fingers trace my wrist, keeping me from walking away.

"C... we can go home if you—"

"We can't, Elle," I interrupt softly. "Things have to be normal," I whisper.

Her smile turns sad. She reaches up to cup my face, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "You're safe here," she murmurs.

I cup her hand in mine and press my lips to her palm. I love you, I mouth. She lets me go and I turn to my own seat. Before I sit, JJ waves a file at us from the door to Hotch's office.

I sigh, staring down into my coffee mug. Elle appears behind me, her hand slipping around my waist, and together we head to the conference room.

"Where?" is the first thing I ask.

"Idaho."

I let out a breath. Anywhere but here is a better option. I take my seat, Elle right beside me, and we start reviewing the case.

"Three women have gone missing in the past six months, abducted from their homes with no signs of forced entry," JJ explains. "Garcia found out that he's tracking them through social media."

"Remind me to delete Facebook," I mutter. Elle smiles, running a hand over my knee.

Hotch says a few more things before telling us the jet is taking off within the hour. We disperse back to our desks but Elle grabs my hand, keeping me behind in the conference room.

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