Fighting For What's Missing

39.

Two hours later...

"I'm bored," Agnes whispers. We're watching Avatar the last air bender to past time, but I guess after being active all day, lying down isn't her goal right now.

"Hold on." I get up and leave the room. Agnes said she could still feel the gel in her ear, so I walk to the bathroom, grab some toilet paper, and clean out her ears when I return to the room. "How's that?" I ask, cupping her cheeks. She shuts her eyes tightly as she grasps my wrists almost as if she was scared. We stay like this for a few seconds, then she sighs in relief and nods, smiling up at me. She was scared. Whatever was in her ear must've been driving her mad. "I'm taking you to the doctors."

"What?! No! Please, daddy." She gives me her puppy dog eyes, and I already know I've lost the battle.

"Okay. Come on." I help her out of bed.

Hand in hand, we step into the hall...then I decided it's time.

"Agnes?"

"Mm?" We stop and she turns to me.

Taking a deep breath, I kneel in front of her. For a moment I question if Gloria was right about telling Agnes everything. Maybe it is too much for her to handle. Maybe she's just too young for this. But then again I want Agnes to return the favor; I need her to be honest with me and to tell me everything. "Falyn stopped by...she misses you a lot, and she wants you back."

"I don't want to go back."

"I know, but if she does everything she's supposed to, then she can get you back."

Agnes thinks for a moment then starts to cry. "She won't let me see you."

As if her crying wasn't enough, it pains me that she understands that there's nothing I can do if her mother gets her rights back. "I told you I'm going to fight for you, right?" She nods, wiping her tears with the back of her hands. "I'm not giving up, especially not so easily."

What Agnes does next nearly brings me to tears too; she kisses my forehead. "No matter what, you'll always be my daddy, right?"

"Yeah, kid...always." After everything, the realization of me being a father still feels like the first time, almost like I'm floating and drifting into space, and the loss of oxygen doesn't hurt, it feels good.

Agnes
Eight days later...

I wait patiently for daddy to wake as I watch Host Club on his phone and play with his fingers. He's a very heavy sleeper. Today is February 6, also known as daddy's birthday. Like me, he doesn't want to celebrate his birthday, so we're not doing anything today. I guess I now understand why daddy and Tisha looked upset when I said I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, it's just something we-we as in family-have to do. But daddy respected my wishes, and I'm doing the same.

I glance back at Night Fury. Daddy gave me him for my birthday so I made him a bracelet.

Daddy's ring finger twitch, and I flinch. I turn and look at him to see his eyes moving behind his eyelids. He's waking up!

With all his tossing and turning, it took him a few minutes to wake up, but he did wake up.

"Happy birthday, daddy!" I squeal, and he winces. I instantly feel bad and whisper, "sorry."

A goofy grin spreads across his face. "Thank you!" He fires back as he playfully yanks me to his chest and hugs me, my back to his chest. "Thank you, my little sweetheart."

"Don't be mad-"

He sighs. "You got me something."

"I made you something." I reach down, pull my leg pants up, and untie the bracelet from my ankles. "I was afraid of losing it, but I also didn't want you to see it," I explain. "So I put it on my ankle." I chose the chevron pattern with three colors; black, gray, and white. I designed it so the black fades into gray and the gray fades into white, then the pattern repeats. I love it, and I know it's perfect for daddy.

"Wow, kid," he carefully takes the bracelet from me. "This...this is amazing. You made this?"

I nod.

"Thank you, baby girl. I love it." He hugs me tightly for a moment then holds his hand in front of me. "Can you tie it for me?" I nod and tie the bracelet around his wrist. I'm glad to see it fits. I thought I made it too small. "You should make one for yourself. Then we can both have one."

I turn and look at him. "Really?"

"Yeah." His brows pull together. "Why wouldn't I want us to have matching bracelets?"

I shrug, fixing my already done bangs.

He sighs deeply through his nose then hugs me tightly again. "I have a better idea; I'll make yours. It won't be as good, but it'll be from me."

I nod.

*********

"What about this?" I ask daddy, holding out my sweatshirt.

"Perfect. But don't pack too much, Charlie and I already got you dressers, and I want to buy you clothes over there."

"Okay." I'm so excited to see the house daddy got for us. At the last moment, he decided to spend the rest of the weekend in Portland.

"Rob!"

"Coming!" I hear Robbie's light footsteps walk up the stairs, then he strolls into the room. "Y'all ready?"

"Take her bags before she does," daddy mutters to Rob.

"Wait," I reach for my bag, but daddy yanks it away before I could grab it. I pout at them.

"I got it, A," Robbie smiles.

"You should go say bye to Tisha," daddy says to me as Robbie leaves the room with my bag. "Robbie and I are gonna wait by the truck. Come out and wait by the front door when you're done." It rained recently and with the cold weather, the porch and stairs are dangerous. Daddy hates it.

"Okay."

Tisha was softly crying while we said goodbye. It was hard to watch. I kept thinking about what will happen when I leave to live with daddy. I know I won't see her as much, and daddy probably won't agree to seeing her every weekend. He's made it very clear that the only reason why he's here now is because of me. Maybe I can convince him to see Tisha more, he may not talk to her, but she loves his company. And Robbie's. It's probably a lot, but I can ask Robbie to visit too. Even Gloria. I just can't have Tisha be alone.