The Ace-ing on the Cake : A Mlb Fanfic

Chapter 10 : Ballons

Marinette's balcony was dark when Chat got there. He had half-hoped she might be outside waiting, but quickly realized how silly that was. He alighted on the railing and perched there uncertainly, wondering if he had made a mistake in coming. It was Sunday night. Marinette was probably doing her homework, or possibly she had finished that and was hard at work on a design. He shouldn't have come.

But no sooner had he stood, intending to do a quick patrol before returning home, then the curtain swept open and the window was cracked. There was no sign of Marinette, but surely that was an invitation? Cautiously, just in case he was misinterpreting the situation, Chat crept towards the window and nudged it open the rest of the way. He had never come into Marinette's room this way, but he knew her bed lay below.

Marinette was sitting on the bed with her back to the corner, knees pulled up against her chest. She was holding something in her arms, though Chat couldn't see what it was. She didn't tell him to go away, but nor did she invite him in. Chat hesitated, unsure of whether he was welcome, until Marinette turned her head slightly and he caught a glimpse of tell-tale wetness on her cheeks.

She was crying.

"Marinette?" he breathed, scrambling in through the window before better sense could prevail. He landed awkwardly on the bed and paused, hovering anxiously.

"I've been doing some research," Marinette confessed, not looking at him. Her voice wavered, thick with tears. "Did you know there are forums for people like us? Where they can go to – to talk and share stories?"

"Yes," Chat said. He had stumbled across some of those forums last night, though he hadn't looked into them much. He had planned to do so later on, but now, based on Marinette's reaction, he didn't know if he should.

"There are so many stories where people tried dating and it didn't work out. Either the relationships ended, or they got cheated on..." Her lower lip trembled. "I don't want to be cheated on, Chat. I don't want to be told that I'm not enough, and that sex is a basic human right I'm depriving someone of. How can I ever trust that someone would love me enough to... to overlook that?"

Chat stared at her, speechless.

"I don't think my crush would do that," Marinette went on. "But... there are lots of things I don't know about him... and all these people, they seemed so sure at first until it all fell apart." Another tear rolled down her cheek. "It's just... I don't... this is all too much!" She pressed a hand over her mouth, as though trying to hold everything in, but it didn't work. A sob escaped.

"Marinette, I – " Chat didn't know what to say. His heart thudded in his chest with a perplexing mixture of guilt, fear and worry. Guilt that he had ever talked to Marinette in the first place and drawn her into this, fear that maybe someday the same thing could happen to either of them, and worry over his friend.

He hesitantly shifted closer, resting a hand on her arm, and was shocked when Marinette pushed herself up and threw her arms around his neck. She did it with such a degree of familiarity, as though they had hugged before, that for a split second he was petrified that she had somehow figured out who he was. But then Marinette sobbed again and he pushed the stupid thought away, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm scared," Marinette cried into his shoulder. "Why does this have to be so hard, Chat? Why can't we just be normal?"

His throat tightened and Chat blinked back tears of his own. That was eerily close to what he himself had been thinking not that long ago. He rested his chin on her head, searching in vain for words of comfort to offer. But what could he say? He couldn't promise that Marinette's crush wouldn't do that to her, or even that she would find a relationship that would work out. He didn't want to make promises when he didn't know if they'd come true.

"I'm sorry," he whispered at last.

She shook her head. "It's not your fault. In fact, you probably helped me. Can you imagine what it would be like to get into a relationship with someone and only discover this about yourself after the fact? Or after you'e married, or worse? That's like... like false advertising."

Chat grimaced. "Yeah, that wouldn't be good."

"I just..." Marinette let out a long sigh, her tears slowing. "There's this boy, and he loves me," she said into his chest, her voice slightly muffled.

"Your crush?" Chat said, surprised. He had assumed that Marinette hadn't confessed to her crush, but maybe -

"No. Not my crush. Someone... someone else."

Someone else loved Marinette? Well, that wasn't surprising. She had to be talking about Luka, Chat realized. Unless... unless Luka was her crush. He couldn't see Luka reacting poorly to finding out that Marinette wasn't interested in sex, but then again he didn't know Luka as well as he would have liked. But if Luka was the crush Marinette kept talking about, who was the other boy that was in love with her? He wracked his brain to think of possible candidates. Nathaniel'd had a crush on Marinette for the longest time, but now he was dating Marc. Nino was dating Alya. Maybe Kim?

Marinette was talking again. "For a long time I didn't really understand that he loved me; I thought he was just a silly flirt, but lately... I realized I wasn't taking him seriously, and that wasn't fair. I think part of me didn't want him to be in love with me because I was worried about breaking his heart, but he was. Is. And I..." She pulled back a bit, rubbing at her cheeks. "I wonder... would it be easier to love him back and forget my crush?"

Chat chuckled bitterly before he could stop himself. "I swear our lives are paralleled right now, Marinette. I spent most of the day wondering the same thing."

She looked at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"There's someone else," Chat said slowly, choosing his words carefully, because she couldn't know who that someone was. "A good friend of my civilian self. I'm pretty sure we're compatible sexually. But..."

"But...?" Marinette whispered.

"I don't know. I still love Ladybug. Isn't it unfair for me to even be considering my friend just because we don't want the same thing when I'm in love with someone else?"

She was quiet, still sitting closely enough that their chests met each time one of them inhaled. Her expression was full of conflict when she finally responded. "I don't know either."

"We make quite a pair, don't we?" Chat said ruefully.

"I don't want this boy to be second best," Marinette said, gulping. "He deserves better than that."

Chat's heart ached at how earnest she looked, because had he not thought the same thing about Marinette while talking to Plagg? She really was an amazing girl. In fact, now that he thought about it, she imbued many of the qualities that he loved so much about Ladybug. It would be so easy to love Marinette.

"So I guess... I guess that means maybe I should confess to Adrien and let him reject me. Maybe then I can move on."

The world ground to a halt. It felt like balloons swelled inside of Chat's chest, stealing all the space for air. He choked out, "A-Adrien?"

"Oh." Marinette flushed, giving him a shy look as she sat back on her knees. "Yeah... Adrien Agreste. Before you say anything, it's not just a celebrity crush. I actually know him. He's in my class and he's just... god, Chat, he's the sweetest guy. Back when we first met, I got really mad at him and he was still kind enough to give me his umbrella. Just thinking about him makes me smile." Contrary to her words, Marinette sighed sadly.

Chat was back to staring at her in stunned silence. Marinette's crush, the one she was agonizing over, was him?!

Somehow, he managed to pull himself together to stutter out a few words of encouragement. Then he made a flimsy excuse to leave, which Marinette graciously accepted. She seemed a little embarrassed, and, as much as he wanted to comfort her further, he needed to leave. He climbed out onto her balcony and left without looking back, head spinning at this new bit of information. That was the last thing he'd been expecting. Not Luka, but him. Adrien. Marinette was in love... with him.

Softly, into the wind, he whispered, "This is so fucked up."