The Ace-ing on the Cake : A Mlb Fanfic

Chapter 2 : Love

Paris was quiet, and so, after about an hour of wandering around aimlessly, Chat found himself a spot to sit by the Seine. Like any self-respecting cat, he had a healthy dislike of water, but he found the river soothing to watch and listen to. And right now, that was exactly what he needed since running around on the rooftops hadn't helped as much as he'd hoped. He settled on the bank and stared down at the water. He didn't know how long he'd been there for before a soft voice called out to him.

"Chat Noir? Is that you?"

Realizing that he recognized the voice, Chat turned quickly. Sure enough, Marinette was standing at the top of the bank. He blinked up at her, surprised to see her out so late. Then again, it was a Friday and he didn't think Marinette's parents were as restrictive as his father was. Her parents seemed to encourage Marinette to go out and have fun, whereas Gabriel did whatever he could to keep Adrien confined to the house. His father would've had a heart attack if he'd known that his son was out after nine, especially without his bodyguard.

"Are you okay?" Marinette asked, her eyebrows furrowing. She left the path and made her way down towards him, moving careful on the slippery, dew-coated grass.

"I'm fine," Chat said, realizing a beat too late that he had been quiet for too long. He shook his head at himself. "Hi, Marinette." He was too exhausted to get up and posture in front of her the way he normally would've. A passing thought that she'd be disappointed cut deep, but Chat didn't move.

"Hi," she said with a small smile, arriving at his side. "I saw your hair from the path and thought there might be something wrong. There's no akuma around, is there?"

Chat shook his head. "No, nothing like that. I just needed some space from my - from my family, that's all." He'd been about to say from my life, but that probably wasn't something you were supposed to say.

"Do you want me to go?" Marinette asked.

"No! No. I didn't mean it that way. Please, sit. You know, if you want to," Chat said, waving at the ground beside him. He didn't know if Marinette would want to risk getting grass stains on her clothing. She was wearing a pink blouse and a black skirt with black boots. But she sat, rearranging her skirt around her legs until she was satisfied, and then rested her hands in her lap.

"I've never sat this close to the water before. It's peaceful down here," she observed.

"It's nice when you need a break," Chat agreed.

"So..." Marinette didn't look at him, just gazed out at the water. "You doing okay?"

He'd already told her that he was fine, but evidently Marinette could see right through that. He wrestled with himself for a moment, wondering if it would be wise to say anything. Marinette and Adrien were friends, but not overly close. It was very unlikely she would put two and two together. And he knew that Marinette would be nothing if not kind, which was exactly what Chat needed right now. Transformed, he could confide in her so long as he was careful not to say anything that would risk his identity. That was not an opportunity he got very often.

"I don't know," Chat admitted. "I... I love Ladybug... but..."

"But?" Marinette coaxed when he fell silent.

"One of my friends was talking about his girlfriend today," Chat began hesitantly. "About how they, um... how they got to - to third base." He flushed a little.

Marinette's cheeks turned pink, so she clearly knew what that meant, and she nodded. "Okay. I'm with you so far."

"Well, it made me start thinking about how even though I love Ladybug, I never think about her that way... and it's making me wonder if I really love her if I don't," Chat blurted out. It felt good to voice the worry that had been brewing in the back of his head. "I don't really want to have sex with her, but that's what people who are in love do, right? So that must mean I don't really love her... and that hurts." He finished in a choked whisper that he wasn't even sure Marinette could hear, but he couldn't bring himself to speak any louder. It was shameful enough just saying it out loud.

He was a little scared to look at Marinette after making his admission, but as the time stretched and she didn't say anything, Chat had to know. He took a quick peek and was startled to find that she was staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips, like she had gone to speak but the words had escaped her at the last minute. There was nothing in her expression but surprise, but Chat immediately felt uncomfortable. He hurriedly looked away and, wanting to fill up the awkward silence, kept talking.

"It's not just Ladybug either. I don't feel that way towards anyone. Not my classmates, not the people I work with, not any celebrities. Men or women, I don't find myself wanting to have sex with anyone and I don't understand why. It seems so easy for everyone else. Ni - my best friend is crazy about his girlfriend, and he's always talking about how much he loves having sex with her and how sexy she is. It just hit me today that I've never felt that, and so I went home and got on my computer and I was looking at the Ladyblog and if I can't feel that way towards my lady, then I really can't feel it towards anyone, and what does that even mean? It means I'm broken!" He inhaled deeply, breathless from his outburst.

Fortunately, that seemed to snap Marinette out of her stupor. A soft hand immediately rested on Chat's arm. "Chat, of course that's not what it means," she said fiercely. "You're not broken, okay?"

Chat smiled faintly. "You're too kind," he mumbled.

"I'm not just being kind! It's the truth. Not wanting sex isn't a bad thing," Marinette said. "And... and I don't think it means you love Ladybug any less, okay? Just because you don't find her... sexy." She blushed again. "Frankly, Ladybug might even find that a nice change of pace... there's a lot of perverts out there who like her costume a little too much." She muttered that last part under her breath, but Chat heard it anyway.

He shook his head in disagreement. "Ladybug wouldn't want a relationship with someone she could never have sex with. No one would," he pointed out.

Marinette frowned. "You don't know that. Have you ever asked her?"

"No!" Chat said, horrified by the very idea. "Besides, it doesn't matter. She doesn't like me back."

"Right," Marinette said, blinking, and looked away. "Right, of course not."

Silence fell between them again and Chat sighed. Finally, he said quietly, "I just don't know why I can't be like everyone else."

"I'm sorry," Marinette whispered.

"It's not your fault," Chat said. "But thanks for listening. It means a lot." He stood up.

"Of course. Anytime." Marinette was slower to rise, dusting off her skirt. She had that look on her face that he had come to recognize during the time they'd spent together as Marinette and Adrien: she had something she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure how to say it. Whatever it was, Chat didn't think he wanted to hear it tonight. He was suddenly overwhelmed, and wanted nothing more than to hide under the covers for a while.

"Do you need an escort home?" he asked.

"What? Oh, no. The bakery is close," Marinette said. "I'll be okay."

"Then I'll bid you bonsoir, Marinette." He bowed to her and then jumped into the air, landing in a nearby tree, then jumped again. Naturally, he followed her as she made her way home to make sure that she got there safely. It was after dark, after all. Only once he'd seen her pass safely through the bakery doors did he turn and head for the mansion.