The Ace-ing on the Cake : A Mlb Fanfic

Chapter 1 : Candy

"I'm telling you, man, it was awesome." Nino sighed dreamily and rested his chin on his hands. Adrien looked on with quiet amusement, attention torn between Nino's increasingly loud sighs and the English worksheet that they had only half filled out.

"So you've said. Many times," Adrien said when he realized Nino was waiting for an answer. "But what exactly was so awesome?" He could hazard a guess – that was Nino's 'Alya is the woman of my dreams' face – but sometimes it was easier to just get Nino to talk it out than it was to listen to him privately dwell on whatever had happened when they were supposed to be studying.

Nino glanced around to be sure no one was close enough to overhead, then leaned over to Adrien and whispered, "Alya let me get to third base last night. It was epic."

Third base. Adrien tried not to let his confusion show too obviously, but, after a beat of silence during which Nino stared at him expectantly, he caved. "I don't know what that means."

By way of answer, Nino grinned lewdly and held up a hand. He wiggled his fingers. "I got my hand in her panties," he said excitedly.

"Oh. Uh, congratulations?" Adrien said awkwardly, uncertain of what else he was supposed to be saying. He didn't know what that had to do with third base, but quickly jotted down a note on the corner of his worksheet so that he could look it up later.

"And then she put her hand in my pants," Nino added, smile widening until it stretched from ear to ear.

"Great," Adrien said, bobbing his head.

"But you wanna know the best part?" Nino said.

"Uh, sure?"

"Alya said she liked it, which means we can do it again!" Nino pumped his fist in the air. "Maybe someday soon, we'll get to fourth base."

"Good for you," Adrien said politely. He didn't know exactly what fourth base was either, but he could guess. And if his guess was right, the conversation was swiftly moving from awkward to uncomfortable. Not that he wanted Nino to know that, but he'd overhead the things the other boys in their class said in the locker room. He did not want to listen to a play-by-play of Alya and Nino's sexual activities.

"Yeah..." Nino said, sighing again.

"Sorry Nino, I just remembered I have to talk to Madame Mendeleiev about my science project before class starts. I'll catch you later." Adrien gathered his things together and stood. He wasn't even sure that Nino noticed him leaving.

He really did have to talk to Madame Mendeleiev, but Adrien's mind was hardly on science. He remained quiet for the rest of the day, and for once was glad that he had to leave immediately after school for his Chinese lessons. Then it was straight home for supper and homework, so it was after eight by the time Adrien was finally alone in his room with nothing to do.

He sat at his computer and did a little research. As expected, fourth base was sex. Specifically, penetration. The site he was on even provided some helpful diagrams and a few... less helpful pictures. Adrien wrinkled his nose, staring critically at the screen. He just didn't get it. Body parts weren't sexy. They just weren't. Looking at that pair of boobs was no more exciting than looking at an elbow or a knee. And it wouldn't matter whose boobs they were. It just didn't have an impact on him; it never had.

"Do you think there's something wrong with me, Plagg?" Adrien asked, shoulders slumping.

"Oh kid, the list of things wrong with you is long and detailed," Plagg said with a snicker.

Adrien rolled his eyes. Okay, he'd walked into that one. He swung around in his chair and stared at his kwami with narrowed eyes. Plagg merely smirked in return before grabbing a wedge of Camembert and cramming it into his mouth. He chewed loudly and expressively, which made Adrien wrinkle his nose as crumbs of Camembert promptly flew all over his bedspread.

"Could you not be gross for like two seconds? God, Ladybug is so lucky... her kwami likes candy," Adrien said.

"Tikki's also a goody-goody. You're better off with me," Plagg said, letting out a loud burp.

"Uh huh," Adrien said dryly. He bet Tikki would've been a lot more helpful right now, but he wasn't about to say as much and provoke Plagg into an argument. So he turned back around and looked at the screen again.

Boobs, butts, thighs, legs... none of it interested Adrien the way he thought it should. Nino could pop a boner if Alya's skirt rustled in the breeze. He often bemoaned the fact that he was constantly horny. Adrien wasn't even sure that he understood what horny meant. He knew the definition, of course, but physically? Emotionally? Mentally? Nothing. He'd never gotten excited because of a girl – or because of a boy, for that matter.

He didn't understand what Nino meant when he said he wanted Alya, or even when he said that Alya was sexy. Sure Alya was pretty, but what did sexy even mean? Adrien let his head drop to the desk as he realized that he didn't know. Ladybug was beautiful, but the thought of having sex with her hadn't really crossed his mind. He just didn't think about her like that. He wanted to take her out on dates, cuddle with her, maybe even kiss her a bit... but sex?

Eww.

"I am a bad person. I'm clearly broken," Adrien muttered, lightly thumping his forehead against the desk. What was wrong with him? He was sixteen-years-old for crying out loud! Sex should be the only thing he was capable of thinking about! It sure seemed that way for Nino, Kim, and many of his other classmates.

Maybe he just wasn't trying hard enough? He sat up and went to the Ladyblog, where the most recent post featured plenty of pictures of Paris's favorite superheroine. The most popular picture was one of Ladybug caught mid-air, one arm held aloft and the other outstretched with her yoyo in hand. Her legs were tensed in preparation for landing, back curved, with that captivating look of utter determination in her eyes. Adrien could admire those blue eyes for a long time.

Yet when he looked at the comments, some of them were very sexual. Alya didn't allow anything too explicit or sleazy, but she didn't always delete comments that made note of or complimented Ladybug's body. Adrien glanced at a couple of them. Most of them talked about Ladybug's breasts. He looked at the photo again. It was true that the position of her body meant that Ladybug's chest was thrust forward. But he didn't see why that was such a big deal. They were her breasts. So what?

"You know, Ladybug wouldn't be too pleased to know you were ogling her chest," Plagg said right in Adrien's ear.

Adrien jumped about a foot in the air. "What?! No! I – I wasn't – that's not –" he stammered, mortified and realizing that Plagg was right. Ladybug would be furious if she knew. She regularly complained about the double standard of male versus female superheroes and hated the way the media sometimes commented on her developing body.

Plagg cackled. "Maybe I should let her know next time I –"

"Plagg, claws out!" Adrien yelped. Anything to get his kwami to stop talking.

One flash of green light later and Chat groaned, hastily closing out of the Ladyblog site. That had been a huge bust. It didn't seem like he was going to come to any conclusions tonight, and he sure didn't want to keep staring at Ladybug that way. He sat there for a moment and then looked down at his transformed self, deciding that a run might help him to clear his head.