What if?

Chapter Nineteen

"Come on, son." Roy coaxed Ryan away from the crime scene like a father coaxing his son out of a toy store.

"Let me just grab some reports." Ryan protested and turned back to the scene.

"No." Roy grabbed Ryan's elbow and dragged him away. "You have plenty already. I'll buy you a drink." Roy steered Ryan away from the scene. If only he had let Ryan go back. Then maybe they would've seen that shadow lurking, waiting...

Dracula stormed Ryan, bearing a shiny gun and a crazed look overtaking his eyes. Roy was unable to even turn around in the short time. His hand was flying down to his waist, althought it felt like he was fighting against molasses.

Ryan's face twisted in shock as the crack of the gun rang in Roy's ears. Ryan crumpled lifelessly to the ground. Dracula turned around. Roy, finally able to reach his own gun, fired.

Dracula howled in agony and hobbled off. Roy trained his gun on Dracula's back, but he had moved to the shelter of a tree.

Roy cursed, pocketed his firearm, and called for back up. He then knelt next to the already paling Ryan. His eyes were wide with terror.

"Shh," Roy slid Ryan's head onto his lap. "You're going to be just fine, you hear. Just fine." Roy fished out his phone and punched in a number.

"Ryan's hurt!" Roy shouted the moment Kate picked up. "He's been shot. Hurry!"

"Sir, you should call my wife too." Ryan said weakly in Roy's arm.

"Call her your damn self!" Roy said harshly. "You're not going to die. Not here. Not now."

"Sir."

"Hush. You're going to be just fine." Roy gently rocked Ryan. A car skidded around the corner about a block away, then came into view. Kate jumped out and ran over.

"Ryan!" She screamed and knelt beside him.

"I'm going to get Jenny!" Roy handed Ryan over to Kate as she took him in her own arms, cradling his head. She brushed back his hair as tears ran down her face onto the red stain in the middle of Ryan's shirt.

"Javier, look after Jenny, will you?" Ryan coughed out.

"Yeah, man." Javier spoke through clenched teeth. His covered his eyes as his broad back heaved. Ryan coughed once, a drop of blood at the corner of his lips, and his body went limp. Kate let out a low moan and Javier beat his fists into the ground. Kate hugged Ryan's lifeless head against her chest.

Roy's police car skidded around the corner, up on two wheels. Jenny burst out of the car and ran up to Ryan. She collapsed to her knees and cried onto Ryan's chest. Kate quietly stood up, and backed away. Red swipes stained her sky blue blouse. She felt her knees weaken until a strong set of arms propped her up. Kate looked up to see Roy, drawing her into his warm body, smoothing down her hair, and comforting her.

Five days later

Kate watched from up the hill as two perfect rows of policemen and women lined a path. Javier gave her shoulder a tight squeeze.

"How are you holding up?" He asked softly, the usual glow in his eyes now smothered out.

"I'm fine." Kate's voice broke on the last word. Clearly she wasn't fine. But she was holding strong enough to carry the casket of Kevin Ryan from the hearse to the grave. Roy, Javier, and Kate got into position, taking a firm hold of the casket. Roy in the front left, Kate, front right, Javier behind Kate.

Roy gave the comand to lift the casket and March down to the grave. The two rows of policemen saluted as Ryan's American flag drapped casket passed. Kate felt the hot tears prick behind her eyes as they laid down the casket and folded up the flag. Javier slowly carried the flag to Jenny as she cried. He gave her a solemn look and returned to his position. There was a 21 gun salute and the detectives took their seats.

Kate cleared her throat and walked up to the podium. There were note cards on the ledge where she had put them earlier. She took a steadying breath and started.

There was an echoing shot and Kate sucked in a breath as she was thrust backwards off the podium. She could hear people shouting and crying, Esposito shouting.

"Beckett's down. Beckett's down!"

"Where did that come from?"

Rick's face appeared over Kate's, glowing around the edges. No, it wasn't Richard Castle, it was Javi. Rick was in the Hamptons with his wife and kids. Kate tried to focus on the face above hers. Olive skin, dark hair, police uniform.

Or maybe it was a nice suit coat. A charcoal one would be the one Castle would've chosen. No, it was a uniform. Maybe? Kate's head throbbed and the figure blurred.

Javi looked down at her chest and back at Kate with fearful eyes. She stared up at him, unable to move, pain engulfing her body.

"Okay," He whispered nervously and slipped his hand behind Kate's neck to support her head. "Kate please. Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me. Please. Stay with me, okay? I love you. I love you, Kate." Kate could feel herself slipping away. She fought it as hard as she could. She wanted to stay with Rick,- Espo!- to tell him she loved him too. Her vision started to blur around the edges and her strength ebbed as the darkness ate away at her.

How happy she would be if she died then in Castle's arms. His gentle hand against her skin being the last thing she felt. His wonderful fresh scent being the last thing she smelled. His beautiful face being the last thing she saw. His seducing voice being the last thing she heard, saying the words, "I love you. I love you, Kate,"

She wanted to reach out and touch his face, to tell him she loved him, too, before she left. But her mouth wouldn't form the words and the sound caught in her throat. Finally the darkness won over and Kate slipped away. Keeping her eyes on Rick as long as she could, the darkness pulled her down as if she were falling. The darkness consumed her and she was no more...