Chapter 12

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The next few mornings we go out riding, me not doing much crazy because I only had one hand. My elbow had swollen up fairly badly and I figured out that I dislocated my shoulder as well.

Tony is bringing me to the ER now. We go in and I hide beside him. I hate the hospital and this hospital holds bad memories now. I get brought back and they pull my arm to relocate it. I let a small yelp out as it gets pulled.

The doctor puts my arm in the sling again and leaves. Tony rubs my arm lightly. "It's okay, all they're gonna do now is a MRI to make sure all of the ligaments are okay." After the MRI, I return to my room and immediately cuddle into Tony.

"She doesn't appear to have any major ligament damage. We're looking at a week in the sling and then she should be good. She should be icing to reduce swelling and taking medication if needed for pain." Tony nods and we leave.

The next week passes by and we are finally ready to go home. We are discussing who is taking what vehicles. "Kellin's truck is going to be used for the horse trailer. I don't think his truck has enough strength to pull the camping trailer. I'll take the camping trailer in my truck. Tony is taking the horse trailer in Kellin's truck. Vic is taking my car and Kellin is taking Tony's car."

They all nod. I go out to the yard. "Cope, come here." She runs over. I unlock the one side of the toy hauler gate and motion her over. "Okay, hold this please." She does so. I unlock the other side and with her help I lower it down. I lift up the pen on it so I can drive the side by side in.

I roll up the carpet and then sit in the side by side. "Come on in." She hops in and I drive her up into the trailer. She smiles and climbs out. I secure the side by side and continue preparing the trailer.

"You have to put a lot of strength into readying this." I shrug. "It's the same process every time with the exception that I know I don't need to empty the toilet this time." It's completely connected to the truck now.

"Alright, I'm ready. We could head out." I start the truck and let him lead the way out. I turn the car radio to Sirius XM and turn on channel 713. If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn comes on. I smile.

I plan on doing all fourteen hours today, I'm not really in the mood to stop and I would be getting home about midnight. I pull into the house and yawn. I unhook the trailer from the truck and set it up. By the time I head inside, it is about 2:00 AM.

I text Tony. "Heading off to bed now. See you in the morning." I make sure the house is all locked up and then I cuddle into my bed, putting on the sling because the excessive movement made my arm hurt.

I wake up and I see Tony. "Did you seriously go all the way home last night? It's not safe to drive fourteen hours straight, especially by yourself." I yawn. "What time is it?" "10:30 AM." He notices I'm wearing the sling and gives me a curious look.

"My elbow and shoulder hurt. I think overuse." He nods. "C'mon, everyone is downstairs." I realize all of My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy are down there as well. I sit next to Tony and quietly fidget with my ring. I'm really anxious so I'm trying to focus all my attention on it.

I hear Pete. "Rachel, are you okay?" I tap Tony. "I need to go outside. I'm really anxious. I'll be at the beach if I'm needed." I grab my keys and take my truck to the beach. I'm not sitting there for long when someone sits down next to me.

"My name is Pete." "I know. I'm sorry, there was too many people." "It's okay, I understand." I look at him. "Wait, are you the girl from Hella Mega Tour Dallas that passed out?" I blush and nod. "If no one is with me, I have a habit of not eating and/or drinking enough. Well, water anyways."

"You were fine in that group of people?" "Music helps me. Also, that concert was before I began getting abused, so not adding in the extra fear that I've had that is better now than it was a month ago. Also, I saw you keep looking towards me which made me feel like you were watching over me to make sure nothing bad would happen."

"That is very true. You were the tiny girl on crutches." I smile. "Speaking of, are you always injured?" "Since my 14th birthday there hasn't been longer than a month I wasn't injured. Technically, this injury should be healed, but driving 14 hours straight yesterday made it hurt again so I'm wearing the sling."

He nods and I feel him lightly grab my right hand. "That tattoo is amazing." "I made it for Erin, Tony, and I. We all have it, Tony on his palm as well and Erin on her wrist." "You're young for tattoos." "Probably. They all have deep meaning to me, especially these three."

I point to the Hold On Till May one, the one on my left wrist, and the one on my palm. "Why is that one so meaningful?" I bite my lip. "Back in June last year I was about to attempt. My music was on and the song came on. It made me stop. It saved me."

I move my wrist out of the sling and point out the scar that is still fairly visible but almost looks like part of the tattoo. "I'm glad it did. You seem like a pretty cool kid, one the world would miss." "Now, maybe. Back then, my biological mom and her husband were going to be sending me off to Texas to live by myself for months. None of my friends would respond to my messages, I honestly had no one besides my brother, but even then, he obviously doesn't care about me either."

"You have a lot of people now." I give him a small smile. "I know. You guys are so loving and supporting, it's nice for a change. I used to have nearly daily arguments with my biological mom and her husband about how racist, homophobic, and transphobic they were. I would storm out of the house multiple times a week just to get away from them. That was easier once we were in Texas, I would just go out on the horse; although, I wasn't always quick enough to do that."

I hear the crack of a belt and I flinch, even though I know it is in my head. It makes me suddenly realize I haven't taken my meds in a couple days. A nervous laugh comes out. "Fuck. Just realized I forgot to take my meds. I need to go home." I hop in my truck and drive home.

I tap Tony's shoulder. "I forgot to take my meds last night and the night before." "Take a normal dose of them now." I nod and go into the kitchen. I hold all five pills in my hand and take them.

"Are you okay?" I nod. "I had another auditory hallucination on the beach, though." "What was it this time?" "I just heard the sound of a belt in my head. It was terrifying." He sits next to me on the counter. "You're safe. None of us are gonna let anything like that happen to you again, as much as we can help it."

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