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she was their deadliest
weapon, void of any mercy,
and yet the winter soldier
found her one weakness
in which aesira is nearing
three years of freedom away
from HYDRA when she stumbles
across a man with a metal
arm and empty eyes
...
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THE GERMAN DAME - VOLUME 1 chapter seven !
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"AESIRA." I heard Elias whisper in my ear as he tentatively tapped me awake from my fitful, nightmare-fuelled sleep. "Aesira, I'm six now."
My eyes fluttered open and met the huge hazel irises of Elias, my lips curling up into a sleepy smile. I raised my hand to stroke his hair and pulled him towards me, kissing his head and hugging him close to my body. He giggled.
"So you are," I mumbled sleepily, continuing to stroke his hair with his face in the crook of my neck. "Happy Birthday, big boy. It's a bit early to start celebrating, the sun's not even up yet."
I felt his sheepish smile press against my skin and chuckled softly before hugging him close to me, my eyes closing once again as my nose was filled with the scent of him. This made me feel like we were back in our cell, oddly enough, not in a bad way. The only time I ever smiled when I was imprisoned was whenever I was alone with Elias in our cell. He was a cuddle-bug when he was a baby and a toddler, which made me give him the nickname 'knuddelbär', and cuddling him in our small bed, if I could even call it that, during his nap times always comforted me. It gave me the hope that would build up and eventually push me to run after a mission. I never wanted to let him go.
I woke up a few hours later with a small stream of sunlight in my eyes and raised my empty hand to block it out, groaning slightly. Well, three hours of uninterrupted sleep was better than none and seeing Elias still curled up against me, face rested just above my breasts, made me smile. I would've done anything to stay where I was at that moment. Laying in bed in peace, without having a care in the world, with the boy I saw as my son in my arms.
But he's not your son.
I sighed in frustration. Of course he wasn't. I had to remember that. I didn't go through nine months of pregnancy and hours of labour for him. His mother did, and I couldn't ever replace that. I was not his mother, and he wasn't my son.
Shaking my head to focus myself, I slowly sat up, trying not to wake Elias up in the process, and went about my usual routine before Elias woke up with much more energy than usual. My heart fluttered as I watched his huge smile cover his entire face, and he babbled endlessly about what we were going to do today. Every year on his birthday since we escaped, I put money aside, and I'd treat him with ice-cream, a new toy and a box-cake mix to make for his birthday cake. I just wanted to treat him as much as I could in our situation because... He was a kid. I knew things would've been so much easier if I never introduced him to the concept of birthdays, but I couldn't bring myself to lie. Birthdays were one of my favourite parts of my childhood, I wanted him to experience the same.
