Little Bird (Ed Sheeran)

Chapter 9 ~ Moni

      So… I’m officially in a relationship and every time I think of that I tremble like a little bird. I’m sure of what I feel towards Ed and probably my feelings grow stronger with each day, but I still don’t fully trust myself. I’m always scared that I may screw things up and every day the fear of losing him becomes stronger and more terrifying.

Ed is sweet, he understands that I can’t just be like any other girl and that I’m awkward every time we are together, I’m not sure how to act. He laughs at my antics and tells me to just relax and go with the flow, that soon it will come naturally. “Stop thinking about it, be yourself,” he tells me and my only response is to hug him.

I like that. I really love hugging him. I like how his arms feel around me, keeping me close and holding me tightly. I like the way his body fits with mine, or when he just kisses me out of the blue, or when he messes with my hair. I don’t like when he tickles me and he quite enjoys that, though at the end I laugh so much it hurts so it’s not that bad.

We don’t spend that much time together, I mean, we have been a week together and I’ve seen him only three times. He’s a busy lad and I’m working hard to get my degree and get noticed by an Publishing house. Probably the same that works with Mila. Terry is helping me to get a job there when I finish Uni as her assistant. I really want to be an editor.

Ed is soon going to America for a few weeks and Mila asks me if I’m worried, but I’m not. It’s his job, it’s what he loves the most. I know I’m going to miss him, but he has to go and I have to stay. He asked me if I wanted to spend Christmas with him but I refused.

The lads will go to America and they come back before Christmas, and when they come back, Ed leaves so he will be spending the Holidays in America. This year my family allowed me to stay here in London and I don’t have to go to see them.

This is the thing: I don’t like Christmas. In my family that day is always awful, somehow we always end up fighting and I hate that Mum and my sister care so much about the presents and that stuff. So it’s a relief to be able to stay here, even if Mila will go visit her family and I’ll be left alone, I know I’ll be better like that. That’s why Ed asked me to go with him, at least during winter break but I said no.

“Why no?” I remember he asked me that day.

“Because it’s your tour, I don’t want to distract you or anything. Then you’ll come back and we can spend time together. For now you need to concentrate in your career and I don’t want to bother you,” is what I told him.

“But I want you to be there with me,” he insisted.

“Maybe a couple of days, but not the whole winter break,” I gave in a little bit and he smiled wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my cheek.

“For New Year’s?” I just chuckled at the way he asked it and nodded.

So I’ll spend New Year’s with him and Christmas alone. And that’s perfect for me.

Now… What about the lads? What have they say about Ed and I getting together? Let me put it this way: I’ve been on the spot for the whole week. They tease me all the time and congratulate Ed, they have called him in front of me just to tell him well done. I’ve wanted to kill myself a couple of times already. Harry and Zayn are the worse. Zayn sides with Mila and chant OTP and all that stuff, so yeah, payback all the time with those two.

But despite they laugh at me, I know they are all happy for me. Mila being the happiest.

“So, what do you wanna do for your birthday?” Ed asks me one day during the first week of December when we are in his flat. He’s writing a song and I’m writing a paper for my Creative Writing class.