beautiful betrayals | eren jaeger

11.

Hi hello how r u :) sorry again for like disappearing (run me my chips please) but as always spoiler warnings so pls be aware before reading!!
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"how have you been?"

you looked over at eren, who seemed trained on you, analyzing your every move. a small shiver ran down your spine, the hairs on the back of your neck began to stand up. you didn't trust eren at all, you were afraid of him, afraid of what he could possibly do, to you and the current ones that you hold dear to your heart.

you hesitated for a moment, swallowing the building up lump in your throat, your hands placed at your sides beginning to collect sweat. should you respond to him? what exactly did he want anyways? you had no use for him and he had no use for you, you didn't like not being in control of the situation thus far, visibly nervous in front of someone who you can't recall anymore.

looking at him was like watching everything unfold all over again. you hated it, you hated how much it affected you, it made you want to scream at him, to make him suffer the same way you did. it made you want to take everything he treasured away from him to get back at him once more.

but your impulses of revenge had been committed already, this was only the beginning of your karma it seemed, one thing after another happened so fast, it didn't give you any time to properly grieve or adjust.

to properly grieve in this moment was all you wanted. a moment to come to terms with udo's death sounded so nice, a moment to just breathe for a bit and not constantly being tormented by everything around you meant more than anything to you in this moment.

instead, having to look after the two surviving warriors, you had to always put yourself in front of them, to protect them was your duty now, your needs didn't entirely matter anymore, falco and gabi's well being had to come first, a loss of the both of them would result in huge devastation to marley.

you paced a few minutes looking at your feet before hesitantly responding to eren's question, your words carefully chosen. "i dont see why you're suddenly playing nice, we're enemies, don't you recall?"

eren kept his eyes trained on you, making a shift in his position, which made you flinch unnoticeably to his eye. eren simply just chuckled, putting his hands inside of his pockets, catching your now full attention on him.

"am i an asshole for wanting to speak with you alone?" he monotonely protested against your objections at his act of 'care', tilting his head slowly at you. he knew exactly what he was doing, he was getting into your head, but as much as it seemed like he wanted to break you down as he pleased, he felt bad.

probably because he still loved you, or probably because he saw himself in you when you sat in his cell with him, he'd sworn he had never seen you look so defeated before, he was well aware that whatever bond you two had, was very low it could be replenished.

nothing would ever be the same.

it was nice to dream, to reminisce when times were simpler, to deny that anything ever happened for the sake of yourself, only to be snapped back into the harsh reality that you now face.

"i've missed you." you heard eren blurt out, him now looking away from you and out the large window in front of him. you felt your body freeze in your spot, stunned by the words he had just told you. What did he just say? you felt your chest tighten suddenly, your eyes widened, trying to process what was said.