Survival ( Book 2: Stronger Series )

29. Tests and Lessons

Another month went by and it was officially fall and football season. Almost every Sunday, Darren and I, and some days even Scott, would spend a few hours in front of the big screen TV in the living room, enjoying a beer and watching the game. It was amusing watching Darren react to the game, true emotion coming out of him without restraint. Sometimes it was anger, but most of the time, it was fits of thunderous joy. But for someone who was in charge of a criminal organization, seeing him watch and enjoy football almost made Darren seem normal—human—and it fascinated me.

Once, I made the mistake of letting him pull me into his lap during a game, and when his team scored the winning touchdown, he had leaped off the couch with such force, I flew off him and landed on the floor. He hadn't even noticed until he saw me on the ground scowling at him, rushing his arm down to help me up and apologizing sincerely. It was weird to hear him apologize, but I guess if he unintentionally hurt me, he did feel bad about it. Maybe there was hope for him yet.

As far as actually watching the games, I really only paid attention when the Lions were playing. It brought back so many memories with Jason, and I had to try so hard not to let Darren see my heartbreak. Sometimes, I would need to excuse myself so I could collect my thoughts and dismiss them before they threatened to consume me. At one point, I thought Darren was starting to catch on, but eventually, my memories got easier to ignore.

Oftentimes, he would catch me staring out the window, lost in my own thoughts and longing to be outside. I really wasn't an indoor girl. I loved to be outside and active, soaking up the sun and enjoying the world around me.

Ever since I had been taken, a lot more came into perspective—what was important and what wasn't. I needed to stay as positive as I possibly could in this kind of situation, and the only way to do that was to surround myself with all the things I loved. My only problem—Darren kept so many of them away. I hated being cooped up in the house all day. Granted, my cage had expanded immensely since my confinement to my room, but it wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough.

During halftime, Darren noticed me leaning against the arm of the couch, my chin resting on my folded arms as I stared out the window. I felt his hand graze my back in a gentle sweep, and I turned my head back over my shoulder to acknowledge him.

"What's on your mind?" Darren asked me.

I wanted to lie. I wanted to say nothing, but he would know and then I'd be in trouble. So I spit the truth out as I usually did.

"I'm just wondering when you're going to let me go outside when you're gone," I said, trying to sound as pathetic and puppy dog like as I could.

He rolled his eyes and sank back on the couch, eyeing me intensely.

"I just gave you free roam of the house when I'm gone, and now, you're already pushing to go outside?"

"Hey, you asked, and I told you the truth. You can't be mad at me for that," I replied, my voice picking up a bit.

He sighed and stared off into space for a moment before returning his gaze to the TV to finish watching the game. Eventually, he spoke up again after I turned my head back around to continue looking out the window.

"Is that something that you seriously need?" He leaned forward, staring at me intently. "With more freedoms come more rules and responsibilities."

"Yes," I asserted softly. "I feel like I'm starting to suffocate in here."

I knew there would always be rules whenever it came to new freedoms, but eventually, they would change when Darren could see I wouldn't betray him. He stared at me for a moment; his face was expressionless as I searched his eyes for any hope he might ease my suffering.