Untainted Desires ✔

14

Jadwa's pov!

Singing along can't smile without you by Barry manilow that is playing through my earphone, I swing myself on the metallic garden swing with my eyes close.

It's been a week since i get to know about my real identity, its a tough pills to swallow knowing the people that raise me people I know my entire life aren't my real family, I can't even believe that the maid is the real daughter of this family a little part of me don't want to believe but the girl Soo much look like her mum and after the DNA results yesterday comes back positive i feel like i don't even belong here.

"Look who i found."the familiar voice say removing the earphone from my ear, I don't bother to turn because i know who they belong to.

"What do you want?"I say in annoyance as much as i don't want to see ya Armaan face but i think he's the only one i can trust and talk to.

"Come on fiancee, I think a little company will do you just fine."he say with his usual smile as he sit on the swing next to mine.

We both sit in comfortable silent,
Ever since that day everyone is trying to be all jovial, giving unnecessary attention to me and acting all nice but that's least of my problem, I just want things to go back to before i know my identity where my mum will tell me how awful of a daughter I am and when my grandparents will tell me how ungrateful i am, when all my cousins will think i am the meanest and worst cousin ever, I missed those moments when everything and everyone was not faking there attitude towards me.

"How are you coping?"ya Armaan ask looking at me worriedly.

"I don't know, if everyone will stop trying to treat me special and act all normal it will be less of a pressure."I say truthfully with a sigh.

"Jawahir is moving in today, your dad say so you two will get to know each other and have even the slightest sisters bond before the wedding."ya Armaan say, i look at him and stay quiet.

I'm so used to been an only female child that the thought of having another female staying with me isn't a welcome idea above all knowing she's the actual daughter of the family makes me feel restless and insecure.

"I wishe i can know my real parents."i say and ya Armaan hold my hand.

"We 're your family jadwa, you are a daughter of this family regardless whatever happened, i know you will find it odd and weird considering the fact that you are used to been alone, but a little bit change is good sometimes."he say with a smile making me to smile widely.

I honestly forget how much effect ya Armaan words has on me,
"I'm not the one to like changes and a big change like having a grown up sister is a little big for me."I say with a shrug and he nod.

We spend the morning talking mostly about myself  and when the afternoon comes by he leave promising to be back by evening.

*************************

Couscous with stew isn't a dish jadwa love, matter of fact she despise is Soo well that hanan cancel it out of cooking list, staring at her daughter who's nibbling on her food hanan feel guilty for making the dish but that's jawahirs favorite food and it's only fair if she prepared it for her since this is her first dinner with the family.

"Mummy this is very good,
Thank you for cooking it, you will teach me how to cook it right."jawahir ask with a smile she's starting to be more comfortable around her parents.

"Ofcrse i love cooking to."hanan say with a warm smile and the two start talking about cooking with hafiz also adding a little bit to the conversation considering the fact he's not a fan of kitchen.

Jadwa peak from under her lashes and everyone seems engross talking to jawahir, she feel the pile of jealousy in her accumulating as she mutter some prayers trying to calm herself, jadwa feel as do she doesn't belong where she is anymore, she love attention and now that jawahir is getting all that from the two people she love the most, she feel like killing herself, jadwa stare at the plate of couscous in her front with a sigh she couldn't remember when last her mother prepare a dish she knows she doesn't like and all because of jawahir she's doing all of this, she sigh and look up from the food just in time hafiz is wiping off the food sticking around jawahir lips making her to flick away the tears that are threatening to roll down her cheeks.

"Jadwa.
Are you alright?"hanan ask worriedly looking at her and she smile awkwardly.

"Nothing.
I'm ok, i will just go and rest."jadwa sY standing up.

"Jawahir and i are going grocery shopping we will bake cake won't you come along?"hanan ask hopefully and jadwa shake her head in denial before walking out of the dinning table.

Hafiz sigh staring as jadwa exit out of the parlour, he knows how jealous jadwa can be,she having a sister now and have to share the attention she usually gets with her he knows how awfull it's to her, he excuse himself and follow trail behind her knowing exactly where he will find her.

Crying isn't something jadwa love doing but she has to, the thought of her finding her own real identity is what it's ringing into her tiny brain but considering the fact that the only thing she knows about herself is her mother was a mad woman so anybody could be her dad, a thief, a madman, a rapist, someone who's seeking for wealth and was advice to have sex with a mad woman, she cry into her palms not knowing exactly why, she's supposed to be happy but how can she be happy when the only people that care about her are now busy spending time with there own daughter.

"Jadwa."the familiar voice say making her to wipe off the tears immediately and sit upright.

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