Saving Hope

Things Happen For a Reason

Aiden's POV

I laid there with Hermit pressing her soaked legs into my back, I didn't mind. I was far too emotionally tired to even pull away. Every time I tried to roll over and open my mouth to speak tears would come out, Hermit rubbed my back soothing me back into my dormant state. I sniffled, and swallowed a growing lump in my throat as I began talking in a soft tone.

"You don't understand." I whispered, my voice shook and I hated it. I wasn't supposed to be the one to break down. I was the one to keep everyone else up, I was the support column and here I was lying in my own pool of self-pity and tears.  I found myself checking my phone every so often, hoping to see a message pop up across from Ash, It didn't. I don't even know why I bothered at this point, it had been two days and still no word. School started back Monday so I was hoping to see Ash at school. They couldn't keep him from his education, it wouldn't stop me.

"I'm not supposed to be like this." I whispered and Hermit nuzzled into my shoulder and I felt more tears trickle down my cheek. Making my face stick awkwardly to my pillow, I lifted up and wiped my nose.

"It's alright to cry, it's only natural." Hermit said as she patted my hair brushing it away from my wet face. I was happy to have her company but then again I wanted to be left alone, Hope was the one who needed help right now.

"Not for me." I grumbled and sat up, trailing both my hands down my face to dry the tear stains. I sniffled painfully, I felt my nose begin to run. "I don't know what to do." I said. Hermit sat up and rested her head against my shoulder. I hadn't felt this bad since I had come out to my own parents, the confusion and anger was painful. In the end it all worked out but for that time period it took them so long to adjust I felt like everyone was judging me from a third person point of view. Like I was no longer their son and they hadn't raised me.

"Wait on it." She said and I looked over to her, my eyes swollen and she smiled at me. As if she had no problems in the world. I wondered if that is how I looked when I was comforting her. Like I was a perfect patty, and that her problems were on top of my list. I didn't like it, I reached up and put a hand on her face.

"Don't smile like that Hermit." I said getting out of the bed to go use the bathroom.

"It makes you look fake."

I went into the bathroom and I heard Hope laugh a bit, she knew I didn't mean it. I looked at myself in the mirror my eye were swollen and I looked like pure shit. I grabbed some tissue and wiped my eyes and my nose. I entered the room and hermit was on her phone, I felt sick and sat down. She glanced at me.

"Do you feel any better?" she asked and I shrugged. "Not really." I said quietly and she sat her phone down and scooted over to me. "I feel and look like shit." I tussled my blonde hair and sniffled again.

"It will get better." She said and I sort of groaned, how could any of this get any better than what kind of shit it was doing now?

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I sat in math class early Monday morning, I couldn't focus on my studies I tapped my pencil awkwardly on my desk and my paper was blank. It was only ten minutes left in class and next period I saw Ash. He sat behind me in English and after that he was on my lunch period. Those ten minutes drug by slower than anything in my lifetime, once the bell rung I turned in my blank paper and hurried off down the hallway. I didn't bother to make conversation with a few friends I scanned the halls for Ash. I didn't see him anywhere, I impatiently, went into my English. I took my seat and watched as one by one, everyone filled into the room and none of them were Ash. I felt my anger grow as the seat behind me was left empty. As the teacher closed the door I dropped my head, I rested it on my forearm and ignored the teacher. I wanted to go home now, I no longer needed to be here. About twenty minutes into the class period I had drifted off a knock at the door shook me. I ignored it and pushed myself to close my eyes, until the teacher walked to nudge me.