But To Live Does Not Mean You're Alive (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Eleven

Four weeks have passed and my life was totally back to normal. Normal as in I had to endure pains each day. Pains that were inflected from home to school and back to home. Bruises around my body were seen again in a regular basis. I didn’t have to cover them up with make up or what for nobody would even care anyway. Most people I was around with would think I deserved them. In fact, even more.

Dad’s therapy has been going on and the results were really paying off. He can actually now manage to walk without the support of his crutches. In my case, I saw those crutches as something not for support but as an alternative for punches and kicks. He has made major improvements. I’m happy for him. Also he’s back to work two weeks ago. I’ve been giving him all my earnings from work since then. Bills he inquired from the accident and therapy and notices from banks and security were piling up.

Miguel I have been hanging out more often. Sometime he asks me to go to the movies. Most of the time he comes to my work but I felt bad that I could not talk to him during my shift. But none of those could even compare to the feeling whenever he would ask about my bruises. He knew Dad’s mostly responsible for them. I felt even more paranoid when he cursed Dad once with scowl representing anger on his face.

School schedules have become really tight as well. Everyone’s being crammed with home works, projects and school stuffs. Group projects always seem to not end up good for me at all. My recent English project had to be done in groups and I was paired with two guys from my class. Every group had three members. The other two in my group didn’t seem to care so I had to do all the work. I spoke to them about it but they only responded with insults and threats. They made no sense and I had no choice. I had to strive for my marks.

Christmas break’s looming so fast. I could not be happier. At least that would mean I could get a break from school and focus more for work. Balancing work and school could get really challenging. As usual, I would probably end up not spending Christmas for Dad seemed to lose its faith on it since the first Christmas without Mom. It’s always been gloomy actually. Dad would just drink his beers while I stay in my room sitting by the window as I observe the neighbourhood live up the Christmas spirit. In fact, every Christmas, we’re the only house that doesn’t put up any decorations. I also remember once when the family next door invited us to come over to their place for Christmas Eve. But Dad turned it down with quite of an attitude. I think the family was somehow offended. I was sorry for them. Since then, no one even dared talking to us.

I was disturbed from my thoughts when the bell rang signalling the end of lunch. I was on my secret spot reading a book I borrowed from the library. I hurriedly slid the book into my bag and started heading back to the building.

Before going to my class, I dropped by my locker to get the books and notes I’d need for the afternoon classes. The classes went pretty well. The discussions were lively and the topics were interesting and so everyone was interacting. That doesn’t happen often so I was quite surprised with all the energy.

After school, I headed for work immediately. Miguel actually proposed to drive me there but I humbly refused. Really, I wanted to walk for a reason. I told him to focus on his practice since they’ll be having some game a few weeks from now.

 I reported to work earlier so I can leave earlier too. I guess I was just tired and all. Since Dad had returned, every night I had to sleep a little later for I had to take care of myself after Dad’s beatings. It’s been like a habit of him. Sometimes, he would also ask me to do his dirty laundry. I couldn’t ask for a little consideration for that would mean another set of curse and smacks. Last night, he commanded me to massage his foot. I’ve never done it before so I was kind of having a hard time satisfying him. He got pissed. At first he grabbed my hair and shook my head using his fist. “You worthless! Use your brain!!!!” that’s what he yelled. But still, none of my efforts seemed to meet his standards so he kicked me in the face. I was on my knees and it happened really snappy.