All Tears Fall Silent

~Chapter 1~

FIRST CHAPTER OF ALL TEARS FALL SILENT :DDD (ALSO KNOWN AS THE SUPER BORING BUT INTRO CHAPTER) FEEDBACK WOULD BE AMAZING AND MUCH APPRECIATED!!

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*ALEX'S P.O.V.*

Life deeply confuses me.. I mean, what's the point?? We're born into a place that's simply terrible but some things in this life bring happiness into my arms. Very few things though. Like quietness. Quietness brings me happiness. Hot soup on a cold day... There's just something about it that makes me smile to myself. There's not really anything else that makes me happy these days though... Nothing at all.

Oh sure, I can seem happy! I'm a great pretender when a mask is absolutely crucial. But I can never seem to lie to myself.

But you know what? I've grown to hate happiness. HATE all the good feelings it brings. HATE the fact that for a second, a split second, it blinds everything else out and makes everything and everybody seem okay. But, my dearies, what you must learn is that illusions fade; memories get crushed, and happiness leaves you at your darkest hour.

After all... Isn't that how it always seems to be? Once you feel as if you've gotten a grasp on your life, your future, your happiness.. It vanishes. I'm not saying everybody feels this way though. Hell, I'd wager that each person on this earth would give up any possession just to be happy all the time. Buuuuuuuuttttttttt, that's not how life works. It works in quite mysterious ways too, might I add.

But what I don't understand, is that how some people have a reason, a want, to live... I guess I should probably understand, I used to have one too. But that died long ago, along with the old me. This happens to most people though, doesn't it?

Which brings me to ANOTHER subject!!!! What if everybody is wearing masks at all times? Hiding their feelings, thoughts, life, from everyone else. Shielding them until the day they die. Have you ever thought about that? I mean "what if....". How would you know or not if the very stranger right next to you was dying inside, had been for a while too. But they're finally getting near the end of a treacherous battle... As the under dog. This is no game though, you see. It's not something you can get back up from once you'd fallen down from merely a nudge. Because sometimes, a nudge is all it takes for the weight of life you've been hauling around, to tumble over your head and bury you to the ground. This is life. This is death. There somehow seems to be nothing really in between...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Damn alarm clock! I'm already very much awake, and have been for hours. (Not that it makes much of a difference though, I only went to bed shortly before I was rudely awakened by my thoughts.) Still though, that beeping noise is annoying as heck! And before you ask.. Yes, I am tired. But getting more sleep wouldn't have helped at all. You see, this is a kind of exhaustion that cannot be healed with sleep; for that is where your inner thoughts can truly take over (also known as nightmares.) I'd been having them for a year straight, every night, every attempt at a nap, basically every time I close my eyes.

But that's not what truly bothers me. What TRULY bothers me is that every minute, a constant reminder about my previous nightmare is hushed through my mind. Like I would DARE forget, right?

Oh goodness..... I love sarcasm... Just a side-note.... ANYWHOOOOO I guess I might as well get up and attempt to be on time today (<--- insert ultimate sarcastic voice.)

First on my morning list: go downstairs and make the first mug of coffee. My feet happen to drag on every carpeted step and the way downstairs. Oh look, there's a giant slump just laying on the coach, totally knocked-out. I slightly snickered (not like it's a rare sight though) and quickly made a hot cup of the-little-piece-of-heaven-I-like-to-call coffee. Doesn't help keep me awake, but it does keep my hunger pains down a bit, and brings me the closest to somewhat happiness.