Happy 4/20!🍃🍃🍃
Enjoy
This shit is real
and it's deep.
It's exactly why I fear attachment
I knew what it was in February
I felt the affect over me, the
one that never left since we were kids
You've always made me incredibly happy
Fulfilled.
You give me fulfillment.
I just really love being around you
I just...love you.
never felt so attached to someone like this
...and it's scary because you know I'm a loner.
I hate dependency.
I told you that's why I don't smoke.
Yet, now after we've reconnected, it's hard to imagine my life without you in it.
Even when we weren't talking, you left me with me many thoughts and dreams about you.
It's like you never left my heart
...and apart of me never wants you to
I get so emotional thinking about being left behind.
I'm afraid.
And afraid of losing you
One of my biggest insecurities is becoming obsolete......and no longer needed. No longer wanted.
I'm afraid of someone taking my place.
I'm afraid we won't have time anymore because of them.
I'm sorry for being selfish. I get like that.
I can be territorial. Human nature.
But Nick Jonas is right.
"You're too sexy and beautiful, and everybody wants a taste. That's why I get jealous".
...if I was a nigga, I'd be feining too.
I always tell you, you're a 10.
An amazing person.
And I've always wanted to be your all
...but I don't know if I ever will be.
and on everything that thought hurts me
This shit is pain. Love is definitely pain...
Especially when you have to watch your love find love elsewhere.
Especially when you have to balance being a best friend and a crush.
I can't stand talking about other people with you, yet I know I'm your outlet.
Your 'best friend'
but remember.....I'm a crush too, ok
I love you...
But I hate that you have this effect on me
I feel weak. I feel sad.
Hurt. Afraid. Confused. Alone.
Yet enamored by your presence.
You're my high...🍃
and it's no wonder why I feel dependent and afraid of quitting.
✨Inspiration: Real feelings towards an actual person. Just thought I'd made the connection between how it is when you feel for someone and how it is to be dependent on drugs because it feels a similar when you and that particular go from High to Low. Didn't care to share this anymore but I was saving it just for 4/20...so...I figure why not. It's one of my favorite things I've written just because of the analogy and from it coming from a raw place.
🍃💔Thoughts?
