Chapter 16

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"song for this chapter: falling away-our last night*

LUKE

Andy’s head rests against my shoulder and I can feel her breath washing over my neck. It’s disconcerting to feel that again, like the ghost of someone you loved and lost breathing down your neck. But she wasn’t lost- she was here, real and warm and physical.

The song that’s playing is slow enough that some people are spinning around to the time of the music, but Andy and I just sway back and forth. It’s inelegant, but neither of us care enough to try harder.

Connor and Molly had insisted we stay for the reception after we crashed their wedding ceremony, and I hadn’t objected. Any time I got to spend alone with Andy was priceless.  It felt natural to have one hand wrapped around her smaller one, the other wrapped around her waist. Being with her was natural to me.

She smelled the same, the scent that was citrusy and sweet at once sending me spinning back to lying on her bed talking about the universe. When we danced together, it felt like time hadn't passed at all. I hadn't ruined everything, I was still hers and she was still mine, in every way imaginable.

There was a commotion over by the door as most of the wedding guests went to see Connor and Molly off for the honeymoon. We had stayed here, spellbound by how disconnected we are.

“I can’t believe you challenged the best man to a drinking contest.” Andy laughs with a small shake of her head. I can feel her grin.

“I can’t believe he didn’t accept the challenge. Maybe you should have challenged the maid of honor. What’s a wedding without a drinking contest?” I laugh, thinking about the look on the guy’s face, 5 inches shorter than me. I laugh again, thinking about his face when he’d started to walk over to ask Andy to dance and seen the look I’d given him. He’d almost run away, looking terrified for his life. That was wise of him.

It’d been like this all night, a flashback into better times, like we were just ourselves again, no baggage trying to drown us. We were just two normal people crashing a wedding together.

“No, I’m such a lightweight, be nice to me.” She teases back before growing a bit more serious. “I’m glad you didn’t get drunk. You’re an ugly drunk. Sometimes funny and sometimes a possessive asshole and I can never tell which one of you I’m going to get.”

I snort. “Please, you’re the worst drunk. You tried to sleep with Beckett.” The thought of her with Beckett makes my hands clench and my vision turn red. The thought of him with his hands on her made me feel like I needed to punch something.

Stiffening, Andy stomps on my foot, and I’m glad she’s not wearing high heels. It hurt enough with flat shoes on. When she was determined, Andy could make you hurt.

“No thanks to you.” She snaps.

“Andy, I was doing what was best.”

“Best for you, or best for me? You can’t keep interfering in my life.” Irritated, Andy pokes my side.

We’ve stopped dancing, just staring at each other in the middle of a deserted dance floor as some sappy love song plays, cliché and grating. But it draws the words out of me.

“I just want to be a part of your life again.”

ANDY

I can’t hear this, can’t be sucked back under again. Because it feels like I’m a recovering addict who’s been offered a hit again. I can’t go back there, I can’t go back to Luke. But, God, do I want to.

Not when there’s a voice in the back of my head telling me this isn’t real, that this is all because I told him what had happened after he left. This was a game to him, a game to fix me up so he could break my heart again.

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