"I want a clear answer hyung, please. I don't remember doing anything to you but if I did, tell me. We were so close before but now I feel strangled having a conversation with you. It's too .... awkward." J-Hope admitted.
Yoongi didn't answer Hope's question but instead let his thoughts take over. He was hurting Hope by avoiding him; what made it worse is that Hope pretended to not be affected to it. When Yoongi ran away, Hope usually just laughed it off and said, "Awn hyung did you miss your beauty sleep today?". He wasn't kidding, J-Hope always said it to him... It was a little weird but eventually it became their norm.
'Aish, I need to get out of my head' Yoongi thought.
When he came back to reality, Hope was staring at him expectantly; waiting for an answer to his question. Yoongi closed his eyes and began to explain himself.
"It's hard to explain it... But just know that you did nothing to make me act this way... I need time to process and give you an answer... Please Hope-ah."
Yoongi was expecting an "Okay hyung!", an "Oh".... Maybe even breathing. But he didn't hear anything which caused him to peek one eye open. What he wasn't expecting was for Hope to be in front of his face... For the second or third day time today but WHO WAS COUNTING IN THIS SITUATION? Hope was too close and that wasn't good at all! He was staring at Yoongi so intently, too intently.
Hope was transfixed by Yoongi. This man was a mystery, hard to figure out. He could be so diverse in all aspects, whether he was on the stage or not.... Charisma even seemed to flow out of him now as Hope stared longingly into his eyes. He was nervous; that was evident to Hope. However, he didn't expect Yoongs to get so... Flustered and.... Scared? It was clear that something else was troubling his hyung and it hurt that Yoongi refused to share his concerns. After all, they've known each other for years and understand the hardships each member went through. If he ever felt troubled he would immediately go to J-Hope but now he was refusing and it slightly annoyed the ray of sunshine.
"Hyung, if it's bothering you that much, why won't you just tell me? I honestly want to know why you've been so... Distant."
Yoongi slowly took a deep breath, closing his eyes once again and scooted away from the man that effortlessly caused his heart to pound a million beats a second; all from a single look.
'Just make up an excuse... It'll be fine' Yoongi thought to himself.
"I - uh used your... SHAMPOO... Yeah shampoo and i... Forgot to tell you and I was, afraid of you finding out? " Yoongi tried.
But the incredulous look on Hope's face told him that he didn't buy it, not one bit. Which was a shocker... Hope really loves his shampoo.
".... Seriously hyung? That's your answer? I'm trying to figure out what's going on with you... With us." He said as he pointed from himself to Yoongi.
"We used to laugh and play, I used to give you so much energy but now it feels like your draining the energy out of me. I can't figure out what goes on in your head... It's so... Complex- YOUR so complex. I-i just want us to be normal again." J-hope exasperated.
'Normal?' Yoongi thought.
What was normal about his feelings? He hasn't felt "normal" since he developed these emotions. It was taboo in Yoongi's mind because he couldn't actually LIKE his band mate! It was ludicrous -- crazy. He didn't want to feel so.... HELPLESS and VULNERABLE. It was a new feeling to him that made it hard to breathe. He felt as if he would explode at any moment from the pent up frustration of his own thoughts and feelings.
His actions and mind were contradicting each other - he thought one thing but said something completely different.
'I want us to be normal too'
"Hope, we were never "normal" what do you mean?" Yoongi replied.
"Hyung... You know what I mean and the fact that you're acting is hurtful."
'I want to tell you but I'm scared.'
"Look, I can't tell you so just drop it okay?"
"But why? I don't understand ... Just tell me what's wrong - I don't want to seem pushy but I really want our normal back."
There goes that word again - normal. It ignited a flame within Yoongi, such a simple word held so much power.
YOU ARE READING
I Like You And I'm Afraid. I Love You And I'm Terrified.
General FictionYoongi is used to being nonchalant. He didn't let anything affect him nor did he try to affect other people. He kept to himself and was pretty quiet; even for such a famous group like BTS. J-hope, however, was his complete opposite. He loved being l...
