Thinking

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When Stevie Nicks held a grunge, she was holding a grunge. Ever since he had been storming into her room a few days ago, she hadn't talked to Lindsey. Actually she had pretended he didn't exist. On stage she went through the motions, though she kept her distance. But as soon as she was off the stage, she completely ignored him.

Lindsey had tried to talk to her, tried to apologize. But nothing. He hadn't been able to get through to her, that was if he even knew where she was. She had picked up her habit of hotel hopping again. Changing where she was going to stay already before they were in the next city. She did everything to avoid him. It went so far that even their tour manager had no idea where she was staying. Or at least he said he didn't know. Lindsey guessed that Stevie had told him to not say a word.

He didn't know if this was worse, or that Christine's words were constantly coming back. At first Lindsey had thought that she wanted to mess with him. He still held her somewhat responsible for Stevie breaking up with him. And now he thought that she was once more trying to push them apart. But slowly there was a nagging feeling that this hadn't been her intention at all.

If it still bums you that she's seeing someone else, maybe you should think about what that says about you...

Why couldn't she have just said what she had wanted him to think about, instead of speaking in riddles. First it seemed as if she had wanted to keep him away from Stevie. Then, for a short moment, Lindsey had thought about if she had wanted to tell him that maybe he should divorce his wife. He got angry at her, thinking she wanted to break up another of his relationships. But then her exact words came back.

She hadn't told him to do anything, she had just told him to think about his priorities. Priorities... somehow that translated if he loved Kristen enough to give up on Stevie completely, or if Stevie was more important to him. And if that was how he really felt about her...

Of course Stevie was more important to him than Kristen. He loved his wife, or maybe did he just love the life she had been able to give him? He was genuinely confused about the whole thing, and he didn't like it that he was actually doing what Christine had wanted him to do. Question everything that had happened during the last seventeen years.

While Lindsey was still playing the thinking game, Stevie was actually thinking about provoking him. She wanted to know what this whole thing had been about. During the last tour there had been so many emotions involved that she had no idea what made Lindsey react like this now. It wasn't new for her to sneak a man into her room. She had done so more than a few times during the last tours. But so far she had always kept it under the wraps, not doing it when she was staying in the same hotel as the rest of the band.

They were constantly flying in the wives. And she had to either retreat into her room or sit through an evening full of awkward small talk. But once more the reaction she had gotten made her aware that it was something different. Men could sneak in girls, if she did the same, she was constantly teased about it.

It wasn't only Lindsey who had come to her. Though she had to confess that Mick had been more subdue about their converstation. There had been questions, and ever since she was met with funny stares from him. It made her roll her eyes every time. It was yet another reason why she stayed in a different hotel.

There he was again, Lindsey. Her thoughts were running in circles since he had stormed into her room. God why couldn't he just spare them all of this back and forth and make up his mind.

Where did that come from, Stevie couldn't explain that. Did she really want Lindsey to make up his mind? She honestly didn't know. Things had been good as they had been last year. They had talked, they had been closer than in years, but still only occasionally landed in bed. At least before the European leg. She didn't necessarily need him.

But honestly she was kidding herself and she knew it. She loved him still. And a part of her had hoped that there was a chance for them. But when it hadn't come last year, Stevie knew that it wouldn't come ever. So she had gone back to her little distractions whenever she felt like it.

It never had been something for the heart. It was strictly physical, something she could distract herself with just enough as that she wouldn't stand outside Lindsey's door, showing him just how much she still missed him, still wanted him. And she told herself, for what felt like the millionth time since their little screaming match, that he shouldn't think she would ever again come back to him.

Little could she know what he was currently thinking about.

Thank you for reading. Xoxo

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