Toxic

Chapter 4: Split

Venture
Rachel

I wake up to my high-pitched piano melody alarm signalling the bittersweet ending to this vacation. It's crazy how things are so different since the beginning of June. I decided it's best for me to put all the bad energy in the past and bury it away. Since I've done that, I've been able to forget about my actions and focus on having an amazing time at the lake house. It was great having so much time with Blake. I think I've hinted at him enough for me to make a move soon. I can't wait to finally call him mine. It's gonna happen soon and it's gonna be perfect.
I'm the first one awake and start making breakfast before we all leave. I chose pancakes and bacon for the last day, of course. My favorite type is with blueberries, but I know the boys like chocolate chips and Meredith likes hers plain, so I respect their terrible taste in pancake flavor. I make as many pancakes and pieces of bacon as possible so we can use up the rest of the food we bought for the lake house. Plus, this might be the last time in a while we'll be able to eat a proper home cooked meal. We'll be on the road for a while, and after that, I assume we wouldn't really settle down in a more semi-permanent place until we get to Hawaii. Luckily, Meredith and I went shopping yesterday for snacks for the road and other stuff we might need. I've never done anything like this before! It's gonna be such an adventurous experience.
The others wake up and pack the two cars with our backpacks and duffle bags while I finish cooking breakfast. We had to pack as much as possible in as little luggage as possible since we'll be sneaking onto the boat and can't be carrying around massive suitcases. The ultimate plan is to get the cure and come back to the lake house, whenever that is, whether it's in months from now or even years. Worse comes to worse I can just buy everyone new clothes! I would never pass up an opportunity to watch Blake try on clothes in a dressing room.
"Breakfast is ready!", I say as I set out plates on the kitchen dining table.
"I don't understand how you guys like stuff in your pancakes. I could never!", Meredith says.
"You at least put butter and syrup on your pancakes, right?", Anthony asks Meredith,
"Haha what? No. Why would I do that? That's gross.", she replies.
"I'm just gonna pretend you didn't say that, Meredith...", I say.
"Hahahaha.", Blake laughs.
He laughed at my comment. He's totally into me. My plan is working!
"So, I planned out the carpool situation. I was thinking Blake and I will take my SUV and Meredith and Anthony, you guys can take your Dad's car you drove here? To start off for today, at least. We can always change it up tomorrow! Thoughts?", I suggest.
Blake and Anthony look at each other weirdly. What's that about?
"Or it could just be girls in one car and boys in the other?", Meredith says.
I thought Meredith would back me up on this. I mean, it's basic girl code. It's not like I'm asking her to clean up a murder or anything. Too soon?
"That's fine too. I just was thinking...", I start as Blake interrupts me.
"It's okay I'm fine with that.", Blake says.
He totally wants to spend alone time with me. This is SUCH a good sign.
"Coolio! Like I said, we can always switch it up later.", I reiterate.
"Fine with me. As long as I can sleep and Meredith drives first because I'm not really a morning person.", Anthony says.
"Haha sure, Anthony.", Meredith says.
"I'd like to go by Starbucks first, if that's okay with you guys? If I'm gonna be driving I need my daily coffee.", I request.
"That's fine. I could go for some coffee too, actually, sounds like a plan.", Blake says.
He loves coffee too. I immediately think of all the cute coffee dates we'll go on in the future.
"Perfect. We should probably get going if we wanna travel a good distance today.", I say.
We all clean up and get into the cars. I drive first and Blake is in the passenger seat. I'm so nervous. I've never been alone with him like this. We get going for about ten minutes until we stop at the nearest Starbucks with a drive-thru. I ordered a double shot blonde espresso with one pump of caramel. Blake asks me to order him a dark black coffee. I don't get why he doesn't want flavor? I absolutely thrive on sugar. But I won't judge him. He'll have plenty of opportunities to try my kind of drinks with me.
I sip my coffee and head out on the road. Blake helps me with directions most of the way since I get lost easily. Once we get on I-95, however, we have a long while to go until we have to change our route significantly. We play country music the entire time because it's a perfect genre to match the tone of the summertime. Nothing beats playing "Cruise" by Florida Georgia Line with the car windows down, warm summer breeze, beautiful blue skies, and trees that line the road blowing in the wind. It's pretty much all the view is gonna be until we go over the Appalachian mountains, which are equally as breathtaking and gorgeous. Me and Blake make small talk and stuff throughout the time I'm driving. I'm not ready to make a move yet. It's too difficult when I'm the one driving.
We eventually stop for dinner once we get to Knoxville, Tennessee. I normally hate fast food, but it's the only option really, especially if we wanna make it farther today. I hadn't had a burger and fries in so long. It really does hit the spot, way more than my salads do.
After dinner, we aim to drive as far as we can and stop at the closest hotel. Blake is driving now. Now it's my time to make a move. He's definitely into me, I can tell. Who wouldn't be, right? After driving for a good amount of time since leaving dinner, we can see the sunset casting a beautiful pink sky on the horizon as we approach Nashville. This would be the most memorable moment for our first kiss. Now is the time.
"Blake, I'm having lots of fun with you. This has been amazing.", I say.
"Yeah this trip is fun. It'll be so worth it when we all get cured.", he replies.
"I have something to tell you.", I confess.
"Uh, what is it?", he responds.
"Well, I think you probably know where it's going. I can tell you feel the same way as me. I'll just show you instead.", I say eagerly and flirtatiously.
I reach over the driver seat to kiss him in a way that we would remember forever and tell our kids about. But, he pulls away and rejects me before our lips can touch.
"Rachel! What are you doing? I don't feel that way for you. We're just friends. I care about you, Rachel, just not like that.", Blake yells as I'm basically on top of him.
This is so embarrassing and humiliating. I am so stupid. But he is so sweet and kind for telling me the truth. At least I know now. I still want him to be friends with me. We both are so overwhelmed and distracted by everything that just happened that the car starts to swerve and veer out of the lane we're in as I'm trying to lean back off of him. He's too distracted by the confusion I caused him that his eyes leave the road and doesn't notice that we've crossed the median.
"BLAKE! The road!", I scream out of terror.
He looks back on the road at an eighteen-wheeler approaching us as we are driving full speed on the opposite side of the road. He impulsively steers us off of the road completely, but we go off down a steep hill very rapidly and land on the ground, catching more and more momentum until we approach a forest and crash full force into a tree. The last thing I do before we crash is hold onto Blake as he tries to shield me from the impact of the collision and from the airbags. Even after everything I did to cause us to crash, Blake still protected me. I don't deserve him.
• • •
I open my eyes for the first time since the crash and see Meredith looking over me as I lay in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV.
"Meredith... What happened?", I ask.
"We saw you guys crash in front of us and immediately took you guys to the hospital. The doctors say you have a concussion, but other than that you're fine. The crash wasn't as bad as they thought. Your car isn't doing as good, though.", she says.
"Oh... Okay. My memory is really fuzzy. I don't care about the car. Is Blake okay?", I say.
"He's doing okay. He broke his left arm but they gave him a cast, so he's not too bad. He suffered some damage to his memory from the collision. He doesn't remember much about anything directly leading up to the crash. He woke up a bit ago and he was already discharged. Anthony took him to a hotel. I waited for you to wake up and we'll meet them there. What do you remember about the crash?", she says.
"Okay. Thank you for being here for me. I don't remember how we crashed or anything that led up to it either. I don't even remember how we got to the hospital. It's all a blur.", I say.
"Oh. So when we got to the hospital, Anthony went to make sure Blake was okay. I stayed in a room with you. You seemed to know what happened before the crash. You told me all about it.", Meredith says.
"Wait really? I don't remember. What did I say happened?", I ask.
"You went off on how mean Blake was. You told me how you told Blake you had feelings for him. You said he got really rude and mean and told you that he would never want to be with you. You said he told you he would never date someone so arrogant and snobby. You said you were crying so much and felt like your world was over. You said the last thing you remember was him telling you to stop crying and then swerving the car to avoid hitting a truck, causing you guys to veer off the road and crash. After you told me the nurses put your IV in and gave you pain medicine for the head trauma and anti-anxiety medication to calm down since you were so wound up about Blake. This is the first time you've woken up since then, I'm surprised you don't remember. I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you sad by telling you this, but I feel like you should know."
I start crying and start feeling really sad. I also feel really angry at Blake. That's not how you should treat a girl no matter if you like her or not.
"Oh my gosh. This is so horrible. How could he be so mean. I thought I knew him better. I thought he would never say anything like that. I guess I was wrong.", I say.
"I'm so sorry, Rachel. You deserve better than him. He doesn't remember any of this, though. I wouldn't bring it up to him. You deserve to move on, it's about time. Now you know how he truly is.", Meredith says as she comforts me.
"That's true. I don't even want to talk to him. I'm so over him. I even feel bad about the whole Scarlett thing now.", I say.
"Don't feel bad, Rachel. The best thing you can do is pretend like nothing happened.", she suggests.
"That's true. I mean, I've always been good at acting fake, haha. But I'm certainly not snobby like he said. I'm still so mad.", I rant.
"I don't blame you. Also, the doctor said you're fine to go so we can go back to the hotel now.", Meredith says.
We leave the hospital and go back to the hotel and get settled in our own room.
"We should probably check in with the boys. Anthony just texted me saying he wants us to come to their room and set up a plan for tomorrow.", Meredith says.
"Ugh. Okay. Fine.", I say reluctantly.
I lead the way out the door and we head down to the room they're checked into, room 303. I reach my hand out to knock but realize the handle is already unlocked. As if my day couldn't already piss me off and fill me with rage and disgust even more, I walk into the room to see Blake making out with Anthony on the bed. Excuse me... WHAT THE FUCK!?