Catharsis [Tom Riddle]

Chapter Forty-Two

 It was times like this when Avalon cursed the fact that she couldn't fall asleep on her own.

She stared blankly at the window before her, watching the dark night sky as she neared her second sleepless night in a row.

Her fight with Tom echoed through her mind on an endless cycle for the past three hours, tormenting her thoughts with constant reminders of the words they had both lashed out at one another.

The first hour she had paced back and forth. She had been angry.

The second hour she sat down on the bed. She had been confused.

Now, she sat on the windowsill. She was tired.

Tired of fighting, tired of being angry, tired of the headaches, tired of not sleeping.

As much as she hated admitting it to herself, with time, she began to understand his silence during dinner. She wanted to believe that he had changed, and to a certain extent maybe he had, but to expect him to valiantly defend muggle-borns alongside her when surrounded by a pool of blood-purists that he knew and respected may have been too far a stepping stone for him to reach yet... that much she would admit. But she still wasn't happy about how he had reacted after dinner.

She walked to the door several times, debating if she should leave and go speak with Orion to hear his opinion on the situation. But, she already knew what her friend would tell her.

That she and Tom merely needed to 'work on their communication.'

She hated that he was right. Still, it did take all of the three hours to actually build up the energy she needed to admit that to herself. Reluctantly, she stood and began walking toward the door once more. It physically pained her to drag herself off the windowsill and toward the exit, her stubborn nature making it nearly impossible to brace herself for the conversation she was about to have with Tom, but still, she made it to the door and put her hand on the knob, taking in a deep breath before opening it.

She hadn't expected to see Tom standing outside the door, ready to knock right as she swung it open. His eyes widened when they met hers.

"I was just-"

"I thought-"

They both spoke at the same time, cutting each other off by accident.

She peeked her head out and scanned the empty hallway. It was far too late for anyone else to be awake at this hour, so she stepped to the side, motioning for him to come in. He sighed and strode in, standing in the middle of the room as she waved her wand at the door and re-cast a silencing charm.

Her eyes had deep-set bags underneath them again, he noted. She needed rest. He began to open his mouth to speak when she said, "I was just coming to speak with you, too."

"Not quite finished yelling at me yet?" he asked pointedly.

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms as she avoided his gaze. "Actually, no," she muttered. "I thought that perhaps we could try... talking out our problems."

"That doesn't sound like us," he said, a hint of a laugh in his voice as he watched the corners of her lips tilt upward into a subtle smile.

She finally looked back up and met his eyes, her smile widening when she saw the glint of amusement in his stare. "No, it doesn't, does it?" Slowly, she made her way over to the bed and sat down on the edge, watching as he followed behind and took his spot leaning against one of its four pillars. "I need you to understand things from my point of view, though."

He nodded, opting not to speak and only listen as she took in a deep breath.

"During dinner, I know you would have liked for me to remain quiet and keep my mouth shut, but I can't do that. Not when those are the same ideologies behind the reason why so many people I love are now dead," she said, staring blankly at the floor before them. "I can't just stay silent. It would go against everything that I have fought for, everything that my friends have died for, and everything that I stand for." She shook her head, running a hand through her hair as she continued. "I realize I may have been too harsh on you. I don't expect you to rush to my defense and join me every time. That being said, I do expect you to understand why I speak up for the things I believe in, rather than chastise me after the fact."