Those Cool Kids

L'eggo with Eggo

This chapter happens a few days after Charlie's accident in the shower and earlier than the moment Charlie and Dean had in his car. 

L'eggo with Eggo

Charlie 

It felt like running out of air every time it visited me, I would lose all control over my body, my heart rate or my voice wouldn't settle down. A strange sound, like a wounded animal, came out of my mouth. I sound I had emite for too long yet so unrecognizable. It felt like an agonizing pain in the chest. A pain, a particular pain that I had the feeling would be for evermore. It ached along side my spine, it burnt my skin. It didn't matter how I wished it stop, it was evermore. No one could stop it. No one. All there was left was to cry myself to sleep. I didn't feel like going to school for the first time in a long time. Violet called, but I never answered. She sent me the homework though, that was nice since she never puts attention in class. How annoying, I looked at the sheets. A confusing wave of emotions cross my mind, I felt repulsion and attraction, who could ever think you could grow attach to the smell of a softener? Who would ever think that a clean bed could transform in a fortress to a wounded soldier? It was a matter of time before Paige would say something, I didn't want to worry her. I didn't want to be here either. I looked at the sheets. A confusing wave of emotions cross my mind, I felt repulsion and attraction, who could ever think you could grow attach to the smell of a softener?  

"Charlie?" I hear a soft knock at the door. "Can I come in?"

Shit. I knew it.

"Um,"  I hesitate as I stand from the bed. Somehow, I felt unease, like I needed to be doing something.  "Y-yes."

"No, no, no." Paige says as she opens the door softly with a serving tray, "Stay there. It's fine, I brought breakfast." She says. "I got some waffles from the freezer." She chuckles, "It's a house rule to always have Eggos." She places the tray in the bed. The sight of Paige makes me melt like a marshmallow to the fire, she's warm and she's soft, like these bed sheets I was under.  The way she smiles, my heart aches and I feel my throat close, and like a magnet, I wanted to lay my head on her lap and cry, and cry, of the smallest complain as she softly stroke my head. She was that powerful of a woman. 

"Whenever baby Dean had a bad day, it cured it. Do you like waffles?"

How wonderful, how wonderful to be granted such a privilege, how wonderful to be greeted with such kindness.   

"I do," my voice barely makes it out. 

"Dean said you weren't feeling very good. How's the migraine?"

I didn't want to lie. It didn't felt right. "There have been better days."

"Do you want to go to the doctor? I can drive you, it's not a problem, Charlie."

"N-no, no, I'm fine. It happens so often–"

"Oh, the more reasons to go. I'm going for my purse-" 

"-No!" I grabbed her hand before she could move, my voice get caught in the back of my throat, I was shaking. I held her hand and it hits me in such a way. I don't remember when was the last time I held someone's hand like this. She gently brushes her hand against mine. It's so warm, and so...so...I can't help but let this half breath come out alongside with pouring tears. I had it, how long had I waited for this warmth? How much had I longed for this warmth? 

"Charlie," her voice makes me shake to my core, it's so...so...so loving.

I can't speak, all it comes out are those sounds of an animal, of a creature, the rawest side of that thing we call crying. A second later, her arms surround me, her hand upon my head, my face against her chest, a fortress it created. I couldn't speak, please, please, please, I wanted to shout, please don't take away. Please, please, make me worthy, make me worth enough, make me worthy to be kept around. Please, make me worthy.   

Please, don't throw me away.

I play it all inside my head played with such easy access, it stings, it aches, it burns my skin and it hurts my chest. It's there and it's never going to go away. It's there and it hunts me, it hunts me at night, at day, at every second I walk, it's there. It's a hot horseshoe forever branded in my soul. Please, make me enough to be kept around, please don't take this from me. Please, don't throw me away, I'll be good, I promise. 

"Charlie," Paige begins. "This is your home now. No one is ever going to harm you again."

I cried myself to sleep again. I woke up and Paige right besides me, with a smile that could light up the darkest room I had ever locked in. I have no idea what time it is. I have no idea, but all I feel is peace and I wondered if it would be evermore just like my pain? It just seemed in my life anything good was volatile, it burnt like paper in fire. Please, make it evermore. Whomever is up there, please, hear me out, just make it last like this pain that branded its roots on me. 

"There was this old saying," Paige's voice called me back to life. Her hand softly stroke my head, "That an eggo a day, can make eggo-away." She laughs at her own pun. "We always had chocolate milk with that, it's been a long time since I last bought Dean chocolate milk. Do you mind coming with me to the supermarket?" 

"Y-yes, I m-mean, I'll go."

"Great! L'eggo!" She laughs again at her own pun. I glanced at my phone, I decided to text Violet. It's short, but it felt real. 

'Thank you for worrying.'

I followed Paige to the car. We stopped at the closest 7'eleven.  Paige opened the car door and glanced back at me.

"L'eggo?" I said softly. Paige's face burst into a loud laughter, she didn't expect that. 

"Paige?" A distant voice asked. It was a woman, about Paige's age, she approached us. She seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't recall why. "I knew that was your laugh!" 

"Oh, hi, Destiny." Paige said politely. 

"I haven't seen you in such a long time." She glanced at me confused as if she was trying to make up my face. "Hi, I'm Destiny Jones. You were in the pie convention...Charlie, right?" She paused for a second, like waiting for an introduction. 

"Yes," I said softly. 

"Oh, I'm so good with faces" She gushed, "Listen, I just wanted to say hi, how is Harris?"

"He's doing good. He's working a lot as always."

"That's fantastic, working is always fantastic. Anyway I have to go, but, Paige, Felicity is her age, we should make them hang out, after all our kids are friends." She paused like the brightest idea just flickered in her brain. "Why don't you sign Charlie for the pageant?? I mean wouldn't that be great? It would so fun! The entry is still active, I literally signed up with Felicity like a couple of weeks ago. You always were involved when Felicity was there, this is seems perfect timing! And you're so pretty," she pointed at me. 

"Oh," Paige blushed. "Yeah," She seems a bit spaced out, "I always loved the dressing room, with all the makeup and the dresses. It seemed so colorful." 

"Anyway, put that in the thought jar, but let's have dinner one of this day. You talk to Harris if he can jailbreak, you come over my house with the kids, and let's hangout like old times!" 

 "Yeah, I'll ask Harris tonight. I'll text you right back."

"Call me, you mean!" She said as she gently pushed Paige. Her phone rang, "I have to take this. But call me!" She demanded. 

"Do you like pageants?" I ask as soon as Destiny leaves.

"Yeah, it's very old school, but it's not a pageant, Destiny loves competing. It's a mom and daughter thing that caught me. Dean was so cute, he would probably fit any dress, but let's keep a secret. Dean gets sensible with that topic." She laughed, but for a moment, for a very brief moment I caught the brief pause, the melancholic tone she displayed in what was unsaid in that sentence, and for the first time, her usual brightness dimmed. 

"I'll love to do it."